Schrodinger's Fap

An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.

Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"

by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022

Fap Snap

An animated, ephemeral version of a dick pick, often shared through the popular Snapchat social platform.

"Hey, I think you're very attractive, here's a fap snap!"

by Monsieur S March 17, 2016

The fap-bastard

"The lonely suburban" to masterbate while pooping or just sitting on the toilet.

Dude I ate some bad food yesterday so I had plenty of time on the toilet for the fap-bastard

by Johnny coxvile August 20, 2017

fap leather

The cloth that you use to wipe up the semen after masturbating, the name comes from the cloth becoming stiff like leather from all of the use that it gets.

Person one: Hey Joey! I need to get a new fap leather.
Person two: yeah me to mine feels more like a brick than a cloth.

by MrMaclroy July 17, 2018

Acoustic Fap

When there's a power outage, but you printed out a bunch of nudes that you keep in a binder under your desk.

See also: Jerk-off unplugged

During Hurricane Sandy, I had a number of acoustic faps.

by Maxil April 4, 2017

Cyber Fap

The act of fapping while chatting via web cam

Dude : Yo bro did you cyber fap with my girl last night?

Bro: Yeah dude, I cyber fapped with her all night.

by Joe mother May 10, 2015

Fap Bastard

A person who was unintentionally conceived through masturbatory semen.

Fuck off Mike. Your mother sat on a pile of cum on a toilet seat at a barn party back in '92 which consequently produced you. You're just a filthy fap bastard.

by JamieB123 November 1, 2014