lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.

After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.

by snarky1 May 24, 2009

turd testicle

When you take a shit and it doesn't come all the way out so it just dangles like a testicle.

Bro 1: Damn, I just took the worst shit of my life yesterday!

Bro 2: Was it a turd testicle?

Bro 1: Yeee maan...

by jenny56868 August 13, 2011

Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009

Compass turd

A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.

The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd

by fullyregressed January 15, 2014

turd searching

Throwing up in the toilet, with one's head over the bowl as if one was searching for excrement.

Joe: Hey where did Tyler go?

Tom: He's turd searching after trying the hour of power. Give him some time

by Mike LaTorrez January 3, 2013

Perfume on a Turd

** See lipstick on a pig

When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."

by desertcajun October 26, 2008

turd mentality

the mental state of someone who cannot articulate the difference between herd immunity and herd mentality

President Trump displayed another shining moment of turd mentality when speaking about COVID this week.

by Slamb Doctor September 16, 2020