The Kvatum Squat

When you watch porn with your hands tied behind your back so you can diddle your own butthole.

Lyndsay was caught by the hotel maid doing The Kvatum Squat.

by Canadian Tuna December 19, 2018

squat cobbler

A fetish that involves a man who sits in a pie and "wiggles around."

I had a very nice apple pie cooling on the window sill but, instead of Yogi Bear, the creepy neighbor Jerry got it. He's a squat cobbler.

by Wormald August 5, 2016

squat cobbler

A term coined on the AMC show "Better Call Saul", describing a particular fetish involving one's ass sloshing around in a pie. May also be used as a derogatory term toward an unpleasant person.

1. I know it seems like an unusual fetish, but Matt has a huge collection of videos depicting men performing squat cobblers.

2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.

by bouchole September 3, 2016

Bong-squatting

The action of filling yourself a bowl of ganja and then not taking a hit immediately after.

Minimum time of 2 minutes after filling it qualifies an individual to be a bongsquatter.

Hey Joel you shit pigeon stop bong-squatting

by Dsig Dinesh August 18, 2025

Squat cobbler

Fetish whereas sexual gratification is achieved by sitting on pies and or pastries. Cream pies and meringues are the most commonly used for safety reasons.

Kim:What's your turn on baby?
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.

by Clive Bixby September 3, 2016

Squat Cobbler

Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying

He has a private video stash of himself doing crying squat cobbler for another man.

by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016

Squat Toilet

A toilet design used mostly in Japan and Asia. To use it, remove your pants, then squat over the pan and poop.

I just learned how to use a squat toilet!

by Dongnugget December 24, 2020