dirty bed

Commonly referred to when an over weight male has a weak boner and is then sat on by his fat wife in bed. This causes him to take a giant shit from the excitement, resulting in a duo of snow angle activity in the pile of excess body fluids.

I was in the middle of a porn video, when my grandmother called me asking if i could wipe her ass cause she's so fat she can't reach around. My wife Judy jumped on my 2 inch junk, causing an instant dirty bed.

by MethDuck February 21, 2014

Bed paralysis

The inability (if only psychosomatically) to move after experiencing a state of fatigue through the day.

“Laura isn’t going to be joining us, she has bed paralysis.”

by Saph-69 September 11, 2021

bed carting

The term for waking up in the morning and lying in your bed until you go back to sleep because you're too lazy to get up.

"Dude, I was bed carting til about 2pm today, so that's why I missed your party...Yeah, I know I'm lazy."

by Summer Green June 24, 2008

Bed-alized

So stoned that you aren't planning on leaving your bed anytime soon.

Dude, Debra was so Bed-alized at that party. It was no fun at all.

by Halobear August 5, 2014

Bed Strength

1: When you are so weak, it's as if you have just woken up moments before.
2: When you are sexually fit.

Guy 1: Hey man, can you help me with this couch?
Guy 2: Sorry man, I can't right now, I'm having some serious issues with some bed strength right now.

by spike117 February 24, 2012

bed count

Something douchebags claim exist even though it doesn't.

1:I want to fuck that girl.
2:No. her bed count is too high.
1:Go fuck yourself.

by Joe The Autistic March 13, 2016

shiite the bed

The act of screwing up Middle East relationships.

When his Muslim travel ban was overturned, Donald Trump shiite the bed .

by tirtle November 24, 2017