An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.
Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"
by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022
Get the Schrodinger's Fapmug. by lol rRed January 10, 2019
Get the Fap clapmug. When a person walks into your wank shelter and they just stare at you while your fapping but you dont stop fapping even when you know that their there in front of you in shock.
David:(fapping) OHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH.
Davids Mother:(walks into wank shelter)DAVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!
David:(ignores mother and keeps fapping and has a fap-attack)
Davids Mother:(walks into wank shelter)DAVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!
David:(ignores mother and keeps fapping and has a fap-attack)
by %Boiiii December 11, 2016
Get the Fap-attackmug. Like the great Shaolin Monks of the majestic Tibetan Monasteries, fap aficionados must go through incredible amounts of training and meditation to achieve seminal enlightenment.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Marv: Bro, you’ll never get done in time, the teacher’s gonna ask where you are!
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
Get the Fap Aficionadomug. by Johnny coxvile August 20, 2017
Get the The fap-bastardmug. When your access to porn is limited, you make due with what you can find. Sometimes, this may be from your Spank Bank, or may involve using a single gif as material.
Guy: I went over to Katie's for dinner yesterday. She looked so sexy.
Guy 2: Did y'all bang?
Guy: Yes, and it was amazing because I managed to get a Flutter Fap in beforehand.
Guy 2: Did y'all bang?
Guy: Yes, and it was amazing because I managed to get a Flutter Fap in beforehand.
by Jainz'd May 4, 2018
Get the Flutter Fapmug. When a person walks into your wank shelter and they just stare at you while your fapping but you dont stop fapping even when you know that their there in front of you in shock.
David:(fapping) OHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH.
Davids Mother:(walks into wank shelter)DAVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!
David:(ignores mother and keeps fapping and has a fap-attack)
Davids Mother:(walks into wank shelter)DAVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!
David:(ignores mother and keeps fapping and has a fap-attack)
by %Boiiii December 11, 2016
Get the Fap-attackmug.