Jesus Lord!

To be very shocked

Jesus Lord! that’s expensive.

by Ivy’s December 5, 2018

Jesus fly

That one fly generally in the house, that no matter how hard you smack it with the fly swatter seems to live (and fly away)

What the hell! I thought I just killed that fly!! It must be a Jesus fly..!!

by jalama oma September 12, 2013

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

Jesus-napping

Kidnapping of a Jesus Christ or Baby Jesus figurine from a nativity scene—also defined as Creche-robbing.

An alleged Jesus-napping was reported on New Year's Eve from St. Matthew Roman Catholic Church's nativity scene. The Baby Jesus figurine was reportedly worth $30. Police believe the Creche-robbing occurred between 8 p.m. on Dec. 31 and 10 a.m. Jan. 1.

by PoliceBeat January 23, 2012

Jesus Town

Jesus Town refers to the town of Weston.Weston is located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada in the northwest end of the city.
"Jesus Town" pertains to the many church's that exist within Weston, most of them being seemingly out of place.

Wilson: You ever coming back to Weston?

Albert: Forget that shit! I'm not going back to Jesus Town.

by DDFR March 2, 2011

Jesus Jitters

A sports reporter's awkward, stammering reaction after a seemingly innocuous question is greeted with a completely unsolicited Bible-Thumping answer: see Erin Andrews' interview with Josh Hamilton at the 2009 MLB All-Star Game or any interview ever with Kurt Warner.

Susie Kolber: Kurt, I see that you are wearing new cleats tonight, any comment?

Kurt Warner: Without the grace of our risen Lord Jesus Christ there would be no cleatts, praise His name.

Susie Kolber: yes...umm...of course...uhhh...back to you Berman!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jesus Jitters!

by rak5877 July 13, 2009

Jesus Breath

having bad breath after consumption of the body of Christ, Communion, church bread, etc.

I really need a stick of gum, I have some rancid Jesus Breath.

by THEOREOKING December 25, 2009