I’m not a doctor

Preliminary sentence spoken by authority figure before any bizzare utterance to imply that any subsequent nonsensible ignorant ravings are just common sense irrespective of what the slaves to ‘Big Pharma’ keep saying.

..........

I’m not a doctor, but X-rays, they cause mutations right? So why not expose people full of covideo19 viruses to a bunch of X-rays? Maybe we could turn the viruses into herpes, or something else harmless that we all have?

by gnostic3 April 25, 2020

i’m up who

How to make someone call themselves a poo

Knock knock
Who’s there
I’m up.
I’m up who?
Yes, you are.

by 147852369/*-+.0 September 25, 2025

I’m 5 minutes away

It means that the person haven’t left the house. Usually still getting ready.

I’m 5 minutes away

by anonymous November 22, 2021

Yeah I’m into bdsm…

Big ducks such as mallards.

Yeah I’m into bdsm…

by ☆★Midas★☆ March 31, 2022

I hate it when a llama named carl stabs me 37 times I’m my chest and eats my hands

Me too bro UGH

I hate it when a llama named carl stabs me 37 times I’m my chest and eats my hands

by Inni84 November 3, 2023

I’m pregnant

Either the most exciting thing or scariest thing your wife can say depending on your thoughts

Wife 1: “I’m pregnant”
Husband 1: “Yay, we’re gonna be parents”

Wife 2: “I’m pregnant”
Husband 2: “OH GOSH, I’M NOT READY TO BE A DAD”

by Hamtaro June 11, 2023

I’m

The contraction for ‘I am”

I’m here to help.

by bluestinger66 August 30, 2022