service turd

a waiter, waitress, or other retail worker who has a bad attitude or bad service.

My waitress at Olive Garden last night was a service turd. she took my menu before I had ordered!

by professionalpotato June 7, 2016

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Turd Smoker

A smoker of turds, and such; a person who enjoys the taste of rolled feces.

Man, that JJSINC is a real turd smoker.

by thefunkyfeelone August 22, 2018

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The little pieces of black rubber found in the astro turf on a marching field (aka football field). They get everywhere, and once there, they're impossible to fully get rid of... They're annoying, but they are a way of life. For the truly dedicated band student, finding a turf turd often triggers an episode of Marching Band Withdrawl.

It's been six months since the last time I was on a marching field, and I'm still finding turf turds in my shoes! Dang, I miss marching season...

by A Sharp Major July 7, 2020

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turd squeezer

An alternative way of saying asshole. Typically this term is used to describe an individual who may very well be an asshole, but at the same time they are not worthy of your top shelf profanity.

Brian is just a useless turd squeezer. Not an asshole, because asshole would insinuate that , while having a shitty attitude, he actually tries to be a productive member of society.

by 23rd Chromosome April 6, 2016

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Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.

Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"

by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010

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Perfume on a Turd

** See lipstick on a pig

When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."

by desertcajun October 26, 2008

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