When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.
This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.
by mythirdeye006 April 25, 2011
The little pieces of black rubber found in the astro turf on a marching field (aka football field). They get everywhere, and once there, they're impossible to fully get rid of... They're annoying, but they are a way of life. For the truly dedicated band student, finding a turf turd often triggers an episode of Marching Band Withdrawl.
It's been six months since the last time I was on a marching field, and I'm still finding turf turds in my shoes! Dang, I miss marching season...
by A Sharp Major July 07, 2020
A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.
"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."
by oldgeezer March 06, 2010
Joe: Hey where did Tyler go?
Tom: He's turd searching after trying the hour of power. Give him some time
Tom: He's turd searching after trying the hour of power. Give him some time
by Mike LaTorrez January 03, 2013
The tasty looking chocolate colored drawing crap makes as it takes it's playful last swim through the toilet bowl.
by Webster the great May 08, 2009
When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."
by desertcajun September 12, 2008
by professionalpotato April 17, 2016