Cod Caulkins

Swimming legend Greg Caulkins’s nickname earned after singlehandedly carrying the 1966-67 infamously poorly attended Furrburry Highschool swim team to state finals. Caulkins took first place in 9 of the 12 competitive swimming techniques recognized by state guidelines, with zero previous swim training. It was later discovered that his high diet of fish at a young age and being raised on a riverfront property had effected the his gene structure. Interestingly enough the issue caught the attention of the global media, bringing the first recorded instance of altered DNA Into the nations view and raising a debate that has continued to this day. The scientific community used information gained from the Cod Caulkin’s story to fuel interest into what became the precursor of genome editing in the late 1960s. Sports historians commonly refer to story as “Rivergate.” Subsequently, the local businesses began selling the “Cod Caulkins” a fish dinner prepared with the local cod in the Furrburry area. Furrburry census history is shown to triple in the years following, bringing with it an economic boom that has sustained and brought the townships average income to 34% higher than surrounding areas. In lieu of this, large businesses nation wide have been known to refer to building s new business and bringing jobs to a community as “Codding.”

“Whoa, slow down! We’ve got a regular cod Caulkins over here!!

“No one swims that fast! Check that Cod Caulkins looking motherfucker for Gills. Now.”

“Berkots has the Cod Caulkins special, it’s almost half the price they were selling it at Maria’s Friday night, from now on I'm not spending money on eating out, only you babe.”

“You want to build our plant in Misty instead of Pootersville? I would rather be codding in a lower tax area Jimbo.”

by Musketpacker2848 August 12, 2019

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