jump the couch

<While in prison>
Convict A: Oooh, see him 'n his tight little ass?
Convict B: Yeah, player. Dats so hawt.
Convict A: He best watch himself and that cute little behind. Or I'ma jump his couch.

<Two people talking>

Tom: Man, Vanessa is goin' to come over tonight.
Tim: Yeah? You finally gonna hit that?
Tom: Yeah, she and I were talking. She said I could jump the couch with her.
by MonkeyStomp January 02, 2006
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Jump the couch

refering to Tom Cruise's display of affection for Katie holmes. Meaning, did something stupid or idiotic
My friend benny just jumped the couch and had sex with my sister!
by Von Beckie August 12, 2005
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couch cock

Couch cock is where your cock and balls are in the reverse order, your balls resting on top of your cock. Couch cock is usually the result of sitting on the couch too much.
Dude I heard Janice has couch cock.

Man he should just kill himself now.
by bluedawg313 April 23, 2008
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burst couch

1.n. Someone or something which serves absolutley no purpose what so ever.

2.n. Someone with nothing to do

Same as empty tracksuit
1. You can't even wire a plug you burst couch

2. My friends didn't show so I was left kicking round the town center like a burst couch.
by Da Zeg January 08, 2005
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Couch Cleaner

When she licks the cum off of your couch after giving you head.
Dude Naomi is my Couch Cleaner
by DieselDude December 04, 2017
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Nig couches

A phrase used when you turned autocorrect off last week because of its sexual mishaps and while texting your black friend about your new big couches you accidentally type the word nig instead of big. Because autocorrect is off, it didn't fix the mistake. It makes you go into a fist of rage while you yell at your phone for being a racist ass while you anticipate your black friend to either laugh or get angry.
Darren: Dude you should check out me new nig couches!
CJ: Dude. What the hell.
Darren: Fuuuuuu
by NastyDelicious May 27, 2014
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couch gravity

couch gravity is when you're being lazy all day long and can't get off the couch.
Hey mate, how about some soccer today?
Sorry but I can't. The couch gravity takes hold of me, it is too strong. perhaps another day.
by fierle franz April 28, 2010
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