morning mayo

When you wake up the morning after having unprotected anal sex and find 'leakage'. Morning mayo happens when a person is too tired to go clean up after intercourse.

Person 1 : Morning Babe, I had fun last night.
Person 2 : Me too.
Person 1 : Why is the bed wet?
Person 2 : Oh, I have morning mayo..

by I'm THAT person December 22, 2015

Good morning

A phatic expression (used as a greet or "small talk" for its own sake) for which I have an unaffected scorn. When I get up in the mornings, I have no desire to tell people good morning. I just want to be left alone. It's so annoying because half the time the people who say this are just random people at school like teachers who don't actually care, and only say it out of some moral obligation, and you're coerced into saying it back out of the same moral obligation and unbreakable social decency. I have social anxiety and really just don't want to talk to anyone. If it's said by someone who may actually give a shit, like family members or friends, then fine, but if it's stupid teachers who don't even acknowledge you but the first 10 seconds in the morning that they see you, then the phrase itself can go to Hell for all I care.

"Good morning."

"Shut up."

by Magic kitty April 29, 2022

Morning Watermelon

The female version of morning wood considering it is pink, wet, and edible. Usually worse if you dream about anyone with a name starting with D.

I’ve heard that cords really help solve morning watermelon.

by watermalone69 January 22, 2019

Morning Nile

The female equivalent of Morning Wood, when a girl wakes up very very wet.

I had so many dreams about you last night and I woke with very intense morning Nile.

by Threetoethreertoed December 7, 2019

Morning slammer

A coffee induced, violent morning dump. Makes a “kerplunk” sound, a slam dunk of a deuce. Effects of which are amplified by a night of drinking.

Girlfriend: Here babe, made you a cup of coffee. How’s your hangover?
Boyfriend: Thanks, sweetie! It’s okay, my stomach hurts a bit from that 1am pizza though.

**10 minutes later**
Boyfriend: Holy shit!! I just laid a morning slammer. Where’s the plunger?!

by Elder Blice May 16, 2020

Morning Jogger

A morning jogger is an absolute wet wipe of a person. Boring, predictable, annoying.

Have you heard much from Lew and Jon?

No, they have turned into morning joggers .

by WeNeedaMedic January 19, 2019

Morning Zombie

The first thirty minutes of waking up which requires: NO TALKING, NO HONEY-DO LIST, and A CUP OF COFFEE. If these things are not given, the person will experience bitchiness syndrome.

I'm a Morning Zombie when I wake up, so be careful.

by Maxwell Harper August 2, 2016