The 'I have kids' defense

The ultimate trump card. When you're down and out it's the last defense you have against people trying to justify your repositioning in society.

Hym "A prime example of the 'I have kids' defense is KRISTI NOEM. In her interview after it was revealed that she shot her own dog, she DESPERATELY tried to employ this defense before being shoved out of the spotlight. 'I'm a mother! I wanna go upies! Not downies! Nooooooooooo!' Heheheheh... And a more recent example is Andrew Tate's interview after getting out recently. 'I have kids! I'm supposed to be able to do whatever I want! Anything and everything is justifiable when you have kids!' Ha! It's ALWAYS THE CASE! He stole? He had to steal for the kids! Why does policy need to change? The kids? Why did we bomb those kids? The kids of course. But your kids are just you. Nothing changed when you had them. Maybe, socially, you moved into the class of people that other people have to give a shit about by way of extension. That's not real a change though. Your kids = You. Their inflated value exists only in relationship to you. Saying 'MY kids are more important than anything' is no different that saying 'I'm more important than anything.' You. Same thing."

by Hym Iam August 24, 2024

Roll up the lazz kid

Roll up the weed kid

Yo bro u got bud

Yeah bro

Roll up the lazz kid

by Taliban Henny November 10, 2017

big kid purchase

your first big purchase, but weirdly after you turn 18

Johnny's first big kid purchase could be a car
Elliot's (me) is going to be his our electric shaver

by aspenjames June 15, 2022

Actually dogwater kid

Anyone who has a brain which might be considered to a 5 year old having a tantrum.

Person 1: You're actually dogwater kid
Person 2: Go outside and ACTUALLY touch grass.

by Take a lesson from me November 8, 2021

Band kid

group of people who are in band, walk with their arms making a upside-down L, think “smol bean” and a large amount of cussing in one sentence is funny

John: “Hey, Look at these band kids”
Band kids: “Falls from 5 feet and FUCKING dies on the FUCKING ground from a STUPID-ASS child molester”
John: Kill yourself
Band kid: “no u :3”

by kurxzo February 4, 2024

KID

A form of expressing extreme laughter if "LMAO" or "LOL" is not enough for you. The more "Ds" the "KID" has, the funnier the joke was. If one says "kid" (no caps) then your joke was not funny in the slightest, or the other fellow is concerned or confused.

insert mildly funny sentence here
"KID"
insert VERY funny sentence here
"KIDDDDDD"

by Jolly ol' chap December 28, 2021

Kids

A broken condom, derived from the word headache

Those aint my kids

by fuckmyass67 December 11, 2018