jared

a man who makes orgasm noises to the point of turning purple. he lives in online forums and enjoys driving people crazy. he also is usually found 69ing a fake stuffed turtle. also can be used as a verb such as "I just jareded that turtle" and insult. EXTREMELY GAY

youve been spending alot of time on those forums lately, your starting to turn into a jared.

by metallballer February 5, 2008

Pre-Erin Jared

Jared Meyers before his introduction to Erin Wenger. Characteristics: Hardcore conservative, likely to be seen at NRA meetings, poor dress attire, going to Lane Community College, not an advocator for equal rights between the male and female gender, often uses the term "faggot," active member of The Group. See Post-Erin Jared for comparison.

"Shut up Faggot" - Pre-Jarin

by JNSD March 23, 2005

Jaked

To be distracted for a prolonged conversation about nothing by your boss or manager. This distraction generally results in you missing or being late for a meeting, late home or unable to complete work. It is recognised within your organisation as a legitimate excuse.

Sorry I'm late, I was on my way home and I was jaked at the lift.
Sorry I missed your meeting, I was jaked in the hall
Can I get an extension on that proposal? I was jaked when I was trying to finish it.

by Victimofjaking April 19, 2014

jared rock

the biggest sex god amongst the nerds. Has a hot girlfriend and seduces underaged girls

Clyde: damn, you're such a jared rock

by Purple Sky May 24, 2016

Jared

Hot ass mother fucker that is always sexually explicit around females

man, he sure acts like a Jared

by CLC.Claire May 7, 2017

jaedy

A goddess of some sort

hova you seen how beautiful she is she is a jaedy

by The king of everything August 19, 2017

Jared

Like Justin, but fatter and more sensitive.

That dude is such a Justin.

No, he’s totally a Jared. Look at the way his tears drip down his double chin.

Oh, damn! You right!

by Jason Mimosa June 2, 2018