Schlunktungler's Paradox

Can't wack off witout the cock snot, but need to wack off for the slunge.

Guy 1: Why u so tired twin
Guy 2: shit so hard cant choke the chicken
Guy 1: js do it bro
Guy 2: My shit so dry, stuck in Schlunktungler's Paradox n shit
Guy 1: Why i keep my shlizz in a jar bro. Doesn't leave my side

by Simon Schlunktungler October 27, 2025

K-Paradox

When someone, usually a rude entitled individual, acts and talks like they've never been hit in the face, but because of their rudeness there is NO WAY they have NOT been punched in the face.

This guy is a K-paradox

by Dinoplant April 8, 2025

The Longy Paradox

In a trade situation, when coming into a problem on a work site the requires a photo of an area, the moment that the problem is acknowledged the photo destroys itself and any evidence that it ever existed ceases to exist.

“Can you find a photo of the piezo? I can’t find it.”
“Nah there’s not photo”
“Fucking Longy”
“It’s the Longy Paradox mate”

by Living Benefit Card February 24, 2024

The David paradox

The David paradox is a weird phenomenon that causes your straight friends to send you gay porn intros at 3:00am without explanation.

“Hey man I’m sorry about last night I had a random urge to send you gay porn intros it just happens out of nowhere it must be the David paradox happening”

by Br0Trøn November 16, 2025

Kylie Paradox

the kylie paradox originated from a group chat, but initially has an undetermined start date. it is characterized by thinking faster than your fingers during text, causing a jumble of words rarely understood by others. (often made fun of)

person one: look at these coins i earned!

person two: What for that do?
(combination of “what’s that for” and “what does that do?”)
person one: uh oh, that’s a kylie paradox.

by rraptor222 September 16, 2022

Hanlon's Paradox

When someone is both stupid and malicious and you can't tell which is the dominant factor driving a behavior.

The boss just assigned Dickhead McGee to my team and I can't decide if he did it because he doesn't know that it's a terrible idea, or he just hates me and wants to see me suffer. It's a real Hanlon's Paradox.

by roadkill6 May 28, 2024

sigma paradox

kid that calls himself a sigma hates women, he prefers men. but that's gay, and he hates gays.

kid: WOMEN SUX!!1!11 MEN SUPRMACY!!1
someone: so you prefer men over women?
kid: YEYSYESAFDSLKFDGJ
someone: that's gay
kid: EEEWWW GAY BADDD >:((
someone: huh, that's a sigma paradox..

by ArtyN November 15, 2023