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Douche

An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

Will use flattery and any other means possible to get a girl;
and learn how to play parts of songs on the guitar to attract girls. Their interests change depending on the girl they date or hang out with. Music is a good example of such interest changes. They will often listen to pop or rap if the girl enjoys it. Girls seemed oddly attracted to this charade.

Often laugh at others misfortunes reguardless of its severity. Is often a cock blocker even if the tactics used will hinder their own chances of getting a girl. Must always be the center of attention even if it means doing something socially awkward.

Sometimes makes jokes in a loud voice to draw attention to themselves. Talks loudly and in a different tone to assert that he knows a lot about a specific topic.
Occasionally they will sing along to songs on the radio and look at others riding with them to make sure they are paying attention to the fact that they are singing.

They are often white males and are stereotyped for wearing 'popped collars' but this fashion is rarely seen. They most often wear a hat in an unconventional way (Such as: backwards, to one side, slightly to one side, or obnoxiously worn on one side of the head, appearing to be barely stable) Being a douche is not limited to just males.

In short a douche is a living contradiction!
Guy 1: "I don't understand how Joey has any friends, he's a total douche."

Guy 2: "I guess girls like that whole asshole attitude."
by JLTJ May 6, 2011
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Douchebag Neck

A form of a t-shirt neck derived from a v-neck. The difference is a douchebag neck shirt cuts very low, usually to show off man cleavage
Tim used to wear crew necks, then he started working out and wore v-necks... now he just wears douchebag necks.

http://www.vulomedia.com/images/19295douchechart_copy.jpg
by Brock A January 22, 2009
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douche knocker

Chris is sleeping with that dirty mutha-fuckin how's-ya-mama again; he's a good for nothin douche knocker!
by nancy & tina May 13, 2005
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Douche Muppet

1. Similar to a douchebag, except their tendancy is be an absolute prick is not of their own doing. They are most likely a prick because they think it is cool, or it will make them popular.
2. A prick who is also a tool.
I could call you a douchebag, or I could call you a puppet. Sir, you are both; you fucking douche muppet.
by Matty.C April 29, 2005
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douche candy

A derogatory term used to describe an ex boyfriend/girlfriend or ex husband/wife. Could also be used to describe someone who has done you wrong. Or just plain stupid people.
"Don't be such a douche candy!"

"He/she is a douche candy."
by Rachel Steinberg October 24, 2006
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douche-tard

Any person unfortunately possessing characteristics of both a complete idiot and an asshole. They typically have no brain and or common sense and tend to get on people's bad sides with their impeccable stupidity.
"Last night at the bar Kevin was being SUCH a douche-tard"
by natedog2010 July 5, 2009
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Douchebag King

A douchebag king can only be appointed by a group(3 or more people) who know the said douchebag king longer than one evening. One douchebaggy act cannot nominate one to be a douchebag king, only a lifetime of douchebaggery can elevate one to this status.
My old garage cabinet boss went around telling people he was sleeping with my girlfriend for six months when he hadn't, so I told his wife, who took his kids, his house, and all his savings, thereby elevating him to the rank of douchebag king to oversee all of california.
by ACustomGarage September 23, 2009
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