a**h**e safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019

circle of safety

normally used between a tight friend group, a COS is basically where you all agree to keep certain things in between yourselves

Amanda: what where you guys doing last night?
Friend Group: Circle of Safety

by no que no October 13, 2019

Everytown for Gun Safety

A group of left wing facists

Everytown for Gun Safety feels you don't have Gun rights.

by lopi216 May 27, 2022

illusion of safety

thinking you are not in danger

if you live an california, you only have the illusion of safety from ohio.

by TapCat November 6, 2022

cut your safety

take yours/someone's virginity

commonly used in the hockey locker room

Example: Connor is really into his new girlfriend and they want to take things to the next level.

Connor: "Megan you're a rocket, absolute dime piece, and I wanna cut your safety"

Megan: "OMG! I was thinking the same. Can I cut your safety babe?"

Connor: "My safety was cut with Allie back in freshman year"

by hockeyconnor1 December 14, 2022

cut your safety

the act of taking/losing yours/someone's virginity

common term in the hockey locker room

Example: Connor and his girlfriend Megan are getting pretty serious and want to take things to the next level.

Connor: "Megan you're a rocket, absolute dime piece, let me cut your safety on Friday night I have a free spot"

Megan: "OMG babe, I have been thinking the same thing. Can I cut your safety?"

Connor: "Allie already cut my safety back in freshman year"

by hockeyconnor1 December 14, 2022

Microsoft Family Safety

GoGuardian's twin brother. It blocks random sites just like GG, but it is barely ever talked about

Microsoft Family Safety = George Orwell's 1984

by BorritoGuy February 21, 2023