acoustic masturbation

The act of sexually pleasing oneself without the use of an electric powered device such as a vibrator.

After visiting the adult toy store, Jill resolved to do less acoustic masturbation in the coming year.

by yes juanito yes April 11, 2016

Rhetorical masturbation

Rhetorical masturbation: Self-aggrandizing speech consisting of lies and deceit usually by politicians.

Hillary Clinton's speech was nothing more than rhetorical masturbation .

by Bobnoxious May 17, 2017

masturbation rolodex

referring to the memory of any past sexual experiences that are worthy of masturbating to at a future time.

or

discussing how a sexual experience was so exceptional that it will be remembered fondly of and kept in the memory bank.

That girl was incredible. I'm going to have to store that away in my masturbation rolodex.

by LeBron Shames June 28, 2010

Habitual Masturbation

When you masturbate habitually, you masturbate not because you want to, but because it is that time of the day.

"Hey, where's Andre?"
"It's 2:30. Habitual masturbation must've gotten the best of him."

by gbrodee April 7, 2015

Masturbation Proclamation

When one masturbates while reading the Emancipation Proclamation, preferably while dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

Kyle "Dude you should come over tonight"
Brandon "Sorry bro can't, I'm going to do a Masturbation Proclamation"

by BROmeo69 December 29, 2011

serial masturbator

A narcissistic person who is better at anything in life than everyone else usually due to playing with themself way more than normal

Davo: "Why does billy think he's better than everyone else all the time?"

Danno: "Cause the fuckheads a serial masturbator"

by mickeeey July 5, 2009

masturbation fiend

An addict who is addicted to masturbation.

The chronic masturbation fiend masturbates to a photo of that handsome guy 3 times a day. The fiend uses lotion and other slippery substances to get off on his picture.

by FDA unapproved April 14, 2010