acoustic masturbation

The act of sexually pleasing oneself without the use of an electric powered device such as a vibrator.

After visiting the adult toy store, Jill resolved to do less acoustic masturbation in the coming year.

by yes juanito yes April 11, 2016

Habitual Masturbation

When you masturbate habitually, you masturbate not because you want to, but because it is that time of the day.

"Hey, where's Andre?"
"It's 2:30. Habitual masturbation must've gotten the best of him."

by gbrodee April 7, 2015

Rhetorical masturbation

Rhetorical masturbation: Self-aggrandizing speech consisting of lies and deceit usually by politicians.

Hillary Clinton's speech was nothing more than rhetorical masturbation .

by Bobnoxious May 17, 2017

serial masturbator

A narcissistic person who is better at anything in life than everyone else usually due to playing with themself way more than normal

Davo: "Why does billy think he's better than everyone else all the time?"

Danno: "Cause the fuckheads a serial masturbator"

by mickeeey July 5, 2009

Masturbation Proclamation

When one masturbates while reading the Emancipation Proclamation, preferably while dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

Kyle "Dude you should come over tonight"
Brandon "Sorry bro can't, I'm going to do a Masturbation Proclamation"

by BROmeo69 December 29, 2011

masturbation fiend

An addict who is addicted to masturbation.

The chronic masturbation fiend masturbates to a photo of that handsome guy 3 times a day. The fiend uses lotion and other slippery substances to get off on his picture.

by FDA unapproved April 14, 2010

Vacuum Masturbation

When you use a vacuum's hose attachment to clean the body of the vacuum.

I had lots of fun sucking up the spider webs with Vacuum Masturbation

by E.N. Smith October 1, 2008