Euphemism for unemployed. It's a useful title to give women in clubs instead of admitting that you spend all day playing Xbox games. Many people think software engineers make a lot of money.
"Hi, can I buy you a drink?"
"Sure, what's your name and what do you do?"
"I'm George, I'm a software engineer."
"Oh, really!"
"Sure, what's your name and what do you do?"
"I'm George, I'm a software engineer."
"Oh, really!"
by Schmucky The Cat January 31, 2004
One of the most pointless principles in the field of computer science. Entails nothing but common sense applied to programming, and generally takes up too much of your time to create stupid diagrams so people less intelligent than yourself can understand how it fits together.
Software engineering was the stupidest class I had to take in college, it reminded me of the kind of work my friends in the School of Business do.
by Phil October 16, 2004
a person with such a depressing job that unless mindlessly devoted, will kill himself by self-strangulation intra-cubicle before the age of 35.
by medaeval February 6, 2004
In computing, a binary executable package, usually delivered via the internet, intended to improve, by adding new features, or fix problems in a certain piece of software. Usually used an excuse by software companies in modern times, to deliver crappy software on the basis that it can be updated sometime in the future. Users therefore become guinea pigs for almost any kind of exotic idea that software companies can conjure. The is the electronic analog of governments lacing water supplies with LSD. "Let's just release it and see what happens."
The problem with such updates is that they are becoming more and more numerous and almost always tend to screw stuff up, rather than fix anything. Software updates, for example, are notorious for screwing up stuff that used to work just fine, and fixing nothing that you actually gave a shit about. These days one can expect to spend at least 1% of their lives dealing with software updates; either in the update delivery process or in the googling of solutions to fix the problems created by such updates, or just googling "why so many f^$%$#n updates?"
Updates almost always are initated at the worst possible time, like when you are in the middle of working on an important report, or sending lewd pictures to your friends.
Some companies believe that they own your internet quota and thus make software updates as large as possible (the equivalent of re-downloading the whole software program from scratch) as opposed to an incremental update.
The problem with such updates is that they are becoming more and more numerous and almost always tend to screw stuff up, rather than fix anything. Software updates, for example, are notorious for screwing up stuff that used to work just fine, and fixing nothing that you actually gave a shit about. These days one can expect to spend at least 1% of their lives dealing with software updates; either in the update delivery process or in the googling of solutions to fix the problems created by such updates, or just googling "why so many f^$%$#n updates?"
Updates almost always are initated at the worst possible time, like when you are in the middle of working on an important report, or sending lewd pictures to your friends.
Some companies believe that they own your internet quota and thus make software updates as large as possible (the equivalent of re-downloading the whole software program from scratch) as opposed to an incremental update.
Boss: "Jack, have you finished that report I asked you to do?"
Jack: "No, I haven't because my computer is jammed up installing software updates."
Jack: "No, I haven't because my computer is jammed up installing software updates."
by Charles Breun April 17, 2015
person: hey, can you please work for me?
computer: no, i am one with the software gore. fuck you.
person: i will throw you in the trash if you pull that one more time
computer: no, i am one with the software gore. fuck you.
person: i will throw you in the trash if you pull that one more time
by hi, i'm pansexual June 17, 2021
Software is considered simultaneously both tampered with and not tampered with until it has been verified by a digital signature
“A customer called and asked when our YOLO product will stop looking like Schrödinger's Software”
“When we finally start signing and verifying the software interactions in our supply chain”
“When we finally start signing and verifying the software interactions in our supply chain”
by SupplyChainLevelMidnight October 22, 2022
Embedded firmware which was designed quickly and cheaply, causing erratic and unpredictable behavior. Examples include a DVD player which needs to be unplugged after it locks up, a cellular phone which has to be rebooted after it refuses to respond, or a hotel elevator which stops at the wrong floor.
The bus driver informed us that the automated announcements occasionally provide the wrong information. I told him, "Sounds like you have stinky software."
by The Mad Photographer February 13, 2020