Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
Soccer Moms are dumb.
by Novasuna August 10, 2006
Get the Soccer Mom mug.That bitch in the SUV who almost ran you over this morning because you had the nerve to try to cross her street at a crosswalk, when the little "walk" man was green, despite the fact that she had over one hundred feet to slow her fat ass down before crowding you out of the lane, which she wanted to use to make a right turn without signaling. Don't worry, she didn't see you: she was on her cell phone talking to some other soccer mom slut, and is therefore incapable of perceiving, acknowledging or responding to any outside influence or displaying any semblance of situational awareness that might prevent her from running you over. In fact, even though the law guarantees you the right of way as a pedestrian, you should always yield to the soccer mom or in general the dodge driver or SUV driver, so her fat kid can in fact get to soccer practice five seconds sooner: he needs the exercise.
To identify a soccer mom listen for the phrase -- "Fucking bitch, watch where you're going and get off the phone!"
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
by ucfryan November 2, 2006
Get the soccer mom mug.a white suburban woman..... upper to middle class, who drives either a mini van or an SUV to shuttle her "precious cargo" to play dates, soccer practice, little league, PTA meetings. All the while, endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians on the road with her lead foot and cutting people off in traffic. A woman who also has an affinity for Starbucks, forcing her children to listen to Yanni, imposing time outs on her little "angels" instead of the more deserved smack on the ass that these little shits deserve, and maintaining her trophy wife status to her executive husband..... Mostly....... A woman who has no idea how to actually raise a child by her own wits, just subscribing to the BS that it takes a village.......
see above
by Stephanie November 21, 2003
Get the Soccer mom mug.A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer*
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
by Valintino the Big Surpremo August 14, 2010
Get the soccer mom mug.Generally speaking, a soccer mom is an upper middle class white woman from the suburbs. But soccer moms can be divided into two categories:
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.
Mrs. Foo Foo is the skinny ugly blonde bitch in that big ass SUV with the "W" sticker on the back, hauling her kids to as many activities as possible, soccer mom
Mrs. Frumpy is that fat ugly, mini van driving, Christian zealot hauling her daughters to ballets, and sons to soccer, soccer moms.
Mrs. Frumpy is that fat ugly, mini van driving, Christian zealot hauling her daughters to ballets, and sons to soccer, soccer moms.
by a women with self respect April 9, 2006
Get the soccer mom mug.A middle-aged, middle-upper class woman who generally drives an SUV, a minivan or a station wagon (the latter of which is rarely seen in this era), and lives in a suburban area such as Parsippany, New Jersey, my hometown. They believe that their children are the most important things in the world, and refuse to let them listen to any music other than Top 40 radio, play any violent video games, or let them watch TV without them nearby, as any of these could supposedly corrupt their fragile minds. They are generally members of the local PTA, and have their kids participate in as many after-school programs as possible, so they could have themselves some "me" time. They usually put soccer ball stickers on their bumpers, tailgates, or gas caps, and are especially notorious for popularizing the infamous "honor student" bumper stickers. Soccer moms are usually homemakers, especially if they have young children, and live of the income generated by their well-paid husbands.
by Kevin January 9, 2005
Get the soccer mom mug.A psychopath who is hell bent on enslaving her children and turning them into something they weren't as a kid. They freak out if you play games like Mortal Kombat, listen to ANYTHING that isn't their kid-friendly songs/remixes. They despise porn but yet most of them read Fifty Shades of Grey.
Their husbands are always regretting their marriage and turns to pleasing himself because his wife closed up shop years ago.
Their husbands are always regretting their marriage and turns to pleasing himself because his wife closed up shop years ago.
Person 1: So what music do you like?
Person 2 I like Linkin Park but-
Raging soccer mom: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT NAME THEY ARE DEVIL'S MUSIC!! *Pushes kids aside*
Person 2: Shut the fuck up and go back to whatever hell hole you climbed out of you cunt!!!
Raging soccer mom:afsqgickiubervh,3:2:2$hhuwrfhiufew;78)feujkbvvsebevreubilvriun34;87);2 *Massive explosion*
Person 1: My god are they all like that?
Person 2: Yeah...
Person 2 I like Linkin Park but-
Raging soccer mom: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT NAME THEY ARE DEVIL'S MUSIC!! *Pushes kids aside*
Person 2: Shut the fuck up and go back to whatever hell hole you climbed out of you cunt!!!
Raging soccer mom:afsqgickiubervh,3:2:2$hhuwrfhiufew;78)feujkbvvsebevreubilvriun34;87);2 *Massive explosion*
Person 1: My god are they all like that?
Person 2: Yeah...
by Crazy915 October 17, 2012
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