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selective finding disorder

A curious disorder predominantly affecting the male gender that when their wife, girlfriend or mother is under the same roof or within yelling distance they suddenly become incapable of finding any of their own or shared belongings. Such as keys, remote controls, phones, chargers etc.

When Selective Finding Disorder (SFD) hits, this man is easily upset often resulting in child like temper tantrums that commonly engage an entire household in a frantic search to find this lost item. Most often finally being found in the SFD patients own pocket or right in front of his temporarily blinded eyes!

Note: Often associated with selective hearing
As DUDE leaves for work and quickly returns to the house yelling and screaming...

DUDE: Baby!!! Where are my keys?? I can't find them anywhere
BABY: Check your pockets!
DUDE: I Did... common help me find them
BABY: If I have to get up and look for you because of your Selective Finding Disorder and they end up

being in your pocket you are making dinner tonight!
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Selective Perfectionist

The name given to a person that chooses to complete random tasks to perfection, but lacks the ability to perfect or even attempt the other necessary tasks in life. A Selective Perfectionist has the full potential to do everything "just right" but chooses to waste all of their time perfecting something else when other things require attention. Also known as procrastinating.

See also: Selective hearing
Example one:
John: *In an over-enthusiastic voice* "I just spent 7 hours at work today organizing and perfecting some file drawers, I even re-color coded everything and put it in super-alphabetical order"

Diane: "Well that's great for you John, but have you done your laundry yet or taken out the garbage?"

John: "Uh, no."

Jane: "You're such a selective perfectionist. I want a divorce."

Example two:

Mom: "Jeffrey, have you cleaned up your room yet or packed for the Florida trip?"

Jeffrey: "Not jussst yet. See, I was playing Spore and I started creating my creature, then it needed wings, and I thought some horns would look pretty cool. Then I just had to give it some big eyes and razors for feet. And..."

Mom: "For f@#$ sake Jeffrey, you're 24. Put down the video game and turn your selective perfectionst attitude towards things that need your attention, like your room, or a SHOWER. I need a drink"
by itjustclicked May 8, 2010
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