(n) - The tingly, prickly, and sometimes debilitating feeling in the legs after a long toilet session. Most commonly resulting from sitting there too long to finish a column or story in the bathroom companion. Originally resulting from its namesake magazine, Reader's Digest Syndrome or RDS can result from any lengthy toilet/reading session of any material.
I took the magazine to the crapper so I could read a quick article while I drop the kids off at the pool. I ended up reading a 5 page article about some dude falling off a cliff even though I was blessed with a one wipe wonder. I tried to stand up but I had a serious case of RDS (Reader's Digest Syndrome) and my legs gave out. I ended up blacking out when I hit my head on the toilet. The janitor found me 2 hours later with pants around my ankles. I think he took my magazine...
by Douglasazo January 12, 2006
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by ThisRandomFuckedUpLife September 13, 2015
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by pewpewwastaken January 8, 2021
Get the pew pew the raider mug.by T.Bags July 30, 2008
Get the Rectal Raider mug.(FINANCE) someone like Carl Icahn or Victor Posner; a manager of a PE fund or takeover vehicle (e.g., T. Boone Pickens with Mesa Petroleum) who organizes hostile takeovers of undervalued corporations.
WHY THEY'RE BAD
Corporate raiders insist they're looking out for the shareholder by forcing the managers to focus on increasing the value of the firm. If a company's share prices are high, it supposedly reflects well on the management of the firm; if the prices are low, the shareholders presumably would benefit from the takeover battle and subsequent change of management.
The flaw in this argument is (a) shareholders are not the only stakeholders in the corporation; workers, neighbors, and consumers also have interests that deserve protection; and (b), the impact of the corporate raider on FUTURE shareholders is inherently damaging over the long run because the targeted corporation's share prices are driven to a higher baseline anyway. After the takever battle between the raider and management, FUTURE buyers of the stock pay a higher price but are stuck with stagnant share prices because further increases don't make economic sense.
If the leveraged buyout succeeds, the company is saddled with debt in excess of its book value, which imposes an extreme burden; if it fails (greenmail), then company is still saddled with immense debt.
WHY THEY'RE BAD
Corporate raiders insist they're looking out for the shareholder by forcing the managers to focus on increasing the value of the firm. If a company's share prices are high, it supposedly reflects well on the management of the firm; if the prices are low, the shareholders presumably would benefit from the takeover battle and subsequent change of management.
The flaw in this argument is (a) shareholders are not the only stakeholders in the corporation; workers, neighbors, and consumers also have interests that deserve protection; and (b), the impact of the corporate raider on FUTURE shareholders is inherently damaging over the long run because the targeted corporation's share prices are driven to a higher baseline anyway. After the takever battle between the raider and management, FUTURE buyers of the stock pay a higher price but are stuck with stagnant share prices because further increases don't make economic sense.
If the leveraged buyout succeeds, the company is saddled with debt in excess of its book value, which imposes an extreme burden; if it fails (greenmail), then company is still saddled with immense debt.
Usually a corporate raider makes his killing by risking (and mostly losing) the money of other people.
He usually quotes Ayn Rand bromides about his adversaries being moochers and wreckers, but he destroys the livelihood of thousands, and he makes his fortune through ambush.
He usually quotes Ayn Rand bromides about his adversaries being moochers and wreckers, but he destroys the livelihood of thousands, and he makes his fortune through ambush.
by Sorry, the good guys lost September 4, 2010
Get the corporate raider mug.Matt... come on, I don't want a play-by-play of your date last night, give me the Readers Digest Version: did you hook up or not?
by blockpass270 August 20, 2008
Get the Readers Digest Version mug.A significant other who gets ahold of your cell phone to check your text messages. Usually causing a fight after seeing who has been texting you.
Dave: I have to delete all these messages from Sarah!
Jon: Why?
Dave: My girl is an Inbox Raider! I know she will start a fight.
Jon: Why?
Dave: My girl is an Inbox Raider! I know she will start a fight.
by Skientz January 28, 2009
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