Maltese

I little white dog that may sometimes be cute.. but are most of the time hideously ugly, with matted fur and gunky brown crap around it's eyes.... mostly on the behalf of neglect on its owners part. These dogs will shit and piss your house up no matter what kind of training you subject them to. They bark without a moment of pausing, and practically jump on your plate when you are trying to eat dinner.
These dogs are about as useless as they come.. the only thing that they are good for is snake food.

Omg.. did you see that stupid maltese, it was so ugly I wanted to scratch my own eyes out!

by fritoburrito July 16, 2010

Malteser

The act of squishing one's balls into another's poohole whilst copulating

"hey, I know we've just met but can I stick my nuts in your ringpiece? What you don't know what thats called....Why in cosmopolitain circles its called a malteser"

by Malteser May 9, 2006

maltesers

Inserting the penis far enough into the anus so that the testicles push up against the outside of the sphincter and are coated with brown feces.

That dumb slut had a taste of my maltesers after anal last night!

by Wikc June 16, 2011

The Malteser

This is the process in which one day you eat plenty of hot food, then the following day you have a hot bath to make your balls saggy, fill the toilet with toilet paper and then have a shit. You then flush the toilet and because of the toilet paper blocking it, the poo rises and surrounds your ball sack making it look like a malteser.

John: "Why are you eating so much curry Steve"
Steve: "I'm preparing to do The Malteser tomorrow"

by Pooeychooeylooey November 19, 2016

Dirty Maltese

A person who is from Malta. A dirty maltese often feels overshadowed by their northern neighbours, Italians. Often mistaken for an Italian, a dirty maltese will emphatically deny being Italian and will loudly proclaim his true nationality saying "I am from Malta!". This is often followed by others in the immediate area quitely whispering "what's a malta?".

A dirty maltese is, by definition, a hairy bastard. So hairy in fact that a dirty maltese must regularly trim his entire body. If you share a residence with a dirty maltese it is often advised to cover any personal effects you keep in the washroom area as the trimming process can be quite messy and you may find an unpleasant surprise on your tooth brush when you wake up.

Popular pick up techniques of a dirty maltese often include incoherant babbling which is often followed by the spilling of one's drink on the intended conquest.

The dirty maltese shook hands with 3 of his friends promising to fully fund their trip to the world cup of soccer should Malta ever qualify. Knowing that because Malta would never qualify (in a million years), he would not have to follow through on the empty gesture.

by Conky June 29, 2006

Maltese Terrier

A type of very large, upholstered rat which makes a constant yapping noise which is only slightly less annoying than the sound of fingernails on a blackboard. If you live adjacent to an apartment which contains one, you will, unfortunately, be quickly driven insane by the incessant racket which it produces if you cannot find a way to dispatch it. Most people regard the Maltese Terrier as nothing more than a noxious varmint with no real use; however, this is not actually true as the Maltese terrier is quite useful as live bait when alligator hunting and can also yield high-quality shark chum when butchered and mechanically separated.

I hate Maltese Terriers.

by dresgf34ertgq3e4rt December 10, 2012

eryn maltesers

hottest tik tok star to exist , she is scary and big and chunky 😏🥵, she always munches on maltesers(YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT) she is very spicy

jemima: OMg is that eryn maltesers the hottest and coolest tik toker?
eryn: yes bitch 😎

by chicken feet sucker April 26, 2019