hey handsome

My dad says “hey handsome” a lot. He’s been doing this since i was born, mostly to greet his good male friends. It’s kind of like his hello and his superpower.

“Hey handsome” is very powerful when said to people he meets for the first time and who he appreciates, like waiters or home depot employees.

For men who are confident and secure with themselves and their sexuality, they’ll appreciate a new salutation. However, if they’re not in on it, the greeting will drop kick every man who hears it…they’ll ask: who the hell is this guy talking about? Is he talking about me? Am I the handsome one? Does he want to fuck?

Well, my dad doesn’t want to fuck. My dad is saying: yeah you’re handsome, and more importantly: it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

hey handsome, guess what? Our new friend failed the vibe check yesterday. i said hey handsome when i saw him and he thought i was hitting on him!

by Sickomonster July 11, 2023

handjob machine

also known as the shake weight, the handjob machine is a tool used to practice handjobs.

my wife is a little out of practice, i think i might buy her a handjob machine.

by skin ticket March 7, 2011

Verbal Handjob

To give a person so much verbal praise that they feel as though they will orgasm.

Thanks for the verbal handjob boss, but I would rather have a raise.

by Ribbles November 4, 2008

Kansas Handjob

When the driver of a vehicle gives the passenger a handjob during a long road trip.

Guy: She jerked me off while she drove during our road trip and I busted a huge nut all over her hand!
Guy 2: Dude Kansas handjobs are the best!

by Dookieshoes August 23, 2016

political handjob

A reference to some of the more negative aspects of quid pro quo politics.

As part of the whole Ukrainian deal, we may get a stray political handjob here and there - but I intend to get my goddamn Biden investigation out of this ugly mess!

by Dr Bunnygirl November 19, 2019

Michael Handzo

Michael Handzo is a 5-4, 110-pound Point Guard from Elmwood Park, NJ.
Future NBA Player
Class of 2022
All-around Player
His twin brother (Dylan Handzo) is a humongous 3pt shooter.
Comparison: Steve Nash
Elite Passer
Handzo is a flashy dribbler
Handzo possesses solid quickness and is a fairly complete player to be so young.

Who is Michael Handzo?
Just a small point guard from a small town and the the next big thing.

by Drizzyouknowme March 11, 2019

Polish handjob

The act of receiving a handjob from someone who is quite inexperienced and moves the penis on multiple axes.

Last night was terrible, Paulina gave me a polish handjob.

by Mangystache November 2, 2015