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Contractionitis

The inability to use contractions, often making the person sound long winded due to the over emphasizing of mundane points.
Brad can not, will not, and does not use contractions due to a severe case of contractionitis.
by itsthatbradguy July 13, 2010
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Urban contradictionary

When someone thinks they know what a word means, they look it up on urban dictionary, and are presented with a word that is totally opposite of their expectations. (Also known as the entire site).
sean: "I went to urban dictionary and typed in 'wedding', and it came up with 'the procedure used to artificially inseminate cows'. WTF! they should call it urban CONTRAdictionary.
by Seanacious D November 29, 2010
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Celebrity Contraction

When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina
Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.
by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005
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double contraction

A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.
"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."
by A. Robert Dowson September 11, 2008
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Premature ventricular contractions

When your heart skips a beat. Usually because of a person you are interested in.
I like that boy so much. He gives me premature ventricular contractions everytime I see him.
by roaritsme January 4, 2012
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poop contractions

When you've been harboring a major cable so long that your body starts to forcibly reject it, giving you the feelings of contractions in your anus. Often accompanied by ass sweat, and anal convulsions.
Man I've been holding off on dropping this bad boy off so long, I'm starting to have poop contractions!
by rockerdon666 December 4, 2009
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Fart Contraction

A pain you get in your stomach that can be intense ,you worry for a second then fart and the pain goes.
"Owwwwwwww oh man my stomach hurts"

"Oh thats better it was just a fart contraction"
by Pyjamagirl January 27, 2009
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