get your feces coagulated

Simply, get your life in order!

Hey man your problem is you stay in trouble...get your feces coagulated before you wind up in jail.

by kenny-the-real-benny May 20, 2018

People and Culture Consultant

A job in Human Resources but only when it's filled by a good looking woman.

Office Worker 1: Did you see the new woman in our office? She is so hot.
Office Worker 2: Yes, that's Lisle, the People and Culture Consultant.
Office Worker 1: What's a People and Culture Consultant?
Office Worker 2: It's the job everyone has called human resources for hundreds of years but now they've started hiring better looking women so they've come up with a new name for the job.

by FinanceTeam August 9, 2019

Subcutaneous Tissue Consultant

Individuals involved in the employment of their subcutaneous tissue as a result of a contract, whether or not written or verbal, between consultant and client which has offer, consideration and acceptance.

Chadwik;"Lovie, look at the new subcutaneous tissue consultants"." Quite".
"Charming, I'm sure Chaddy". "Chaarrrming".

by saavy chimp March 25, 2022

consultant

A bullshit artist who is paid to provide ideas to managers, who then make the ideas appear to employees as if they were their own. Meanwhile, the consultant runs off to the the service of another client in order to avoid being around to take the blame when their obscurantist, superficial ideas are actually implemented.

Here's that douchebag consultant again who is going to give some quadrant diagram on mitigation strategies for $2k/day.

by not ted December 15, 2011

reality consultant

Someone who consults those who has strayed from reality and has lead themselves to believe that their fantasy have truly become their reality . These life gurus then in turn guide the vagrants of reality back to their sad existance of life with a slap dose of realism.

Cory needs to get a hold of a reality consultant as soon as possible. Have you seen his girlfriend?!

by buti4life December 30, 2011

Consolation Wife

The opposite of a trophy wife. This is the wife you are sent home with when you lose at dating. These women might have been trophy wives if the trophy was given merely for participation rather than performance.

My buddy said it was the trophy wife table, but when I turned around every single woman was past her prime, assuming they even had a prime. It was the consolation wife table.

by Hatch240 March 30, 2011

consultanted

When you want to explain something ridiculous looking professional whilst doing it.

Rod just consultanted you!

by Rodisrightbarbie April 19, 2018