i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me

I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.

Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?

Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.

Isaiah: ...
Me: ...
Isaiah: yeah, same.

by MrDrEdward October 31, 2021

agoraphobic

To be afriad of anything thats practically outside, our outside itself.

person 1: I never see person 3 ever leave his house
person 2: maybe he's agoraphobic

by mr x February 19, 2004

anus agony

The anguish your anus goes through sometimes.

Claire crawled outta the bathroom, hands on her ass, face contorted with anus agony. Tears streamed down her face. Poop was smeared on the bathroom walls. "Call 911. I have anus agony", she moaned.

by Mazuel-Aziz November 4, 2006

No Agony, No Bragony

There's no bragging rights for people who haven't worked for it.

"Oh man, that team really sucks." Oh really? Have you worked as hard as them or have the balls to even go for the team? "Nah dude, they suck I don't wanna join them!" Then shut up, No Agony, No Bragony.

by Offbrand. July 24, 2009

agnaesist

Combining the word "agnostic" - a person who believes that the existence of God is unknown and unknowable. Someone who does not believe nor deny existence, but rather is waiting for the proof.
And the word "atheist" - a person who denies the existence of God.

I don't believe there is a God, but unlike an atheist, if 100% undeniable proof sprouted from the ground, I would believe because I'm agnaesist.

by Danielle SMILE April 15, 2008

AGONIZE

Agonize -Thinking obsessively about a one thing or more than one things

She agonized what it would be like to see him again

by Felibelly September 20, 2016

agonal breathing

Agonal Breathing is preformed by the brain as a last reflex to try and keep the person performing the agonal breathing alive, the brain will do this to signal that there is a severe lack of blood flow to the brain or a bleeding blood vessel in the brain, which if not given immediate medical attention, the person will die. This breathing can take place for a few minutes to hours, while the time between said breathes vary. Agonal Breathing is also referred to as “Agonal Gasps” or “Agonal Respiration”.

Reece - “Oh my god! What is he doing?”
Jacob - “He needs to get to the hospital, he is preforming Agonal Breathing!”

by Hentai_Viewer March 11, 2019