Misery Hedge

Hedging your emotions by putting a bet on something you really don't want to happen, so at least you get paid if it does.

Dan: "I hope Man-U wins the cup, but I put a misery hedge on Arsenal just in case."
Matt: "How much did you put on Arsenal to win then"
Dan: "only £10. The winnings will be enough to wash away my tears if we lose".

Or

"I really hope Trump doesn't win the next election. As the odds are good, I guess I'll put $20 on him to win as a misery hedge so if he does, at least I get paid"

by S@lty Boi June 12, 2019

Misery Pig

An individual who complains about their situation but does nothing to improve or escape it and would sooner wallow in it in an endless cycle.

Often claiming they are "fine" or blaming other people or events for the downward spiral a Misery Pig expects everyone to give them sympathy and has no intention of accepting that the issues normally lie with them.

"John is saying he is feeling anxious again"
"Yes but he went through this before and never got any help even when he said he would get it sorted this time"
"What a Misery Pig"

by ghostrighter August 16, 2020

Misery-Fied

Slang for making a thing or living thing muscular , nude or in a revealing outfit.

(An Inside joke)

Hey bro, did you see this new character? They're really cool!
Aw shit they got Misery-Fied

by Misey April 3, 2021

misery X cpr

The legendary mix of the songs CPR by cupcakKe and Misery by maroon 5. It can also be mixed with the song apple bottom jeans and that one reeses puffs song.

Person 1: yo whats your favourite song
Person 2: misery x CPR
Person 1: go fuck yourself

by applsauz :3 August 5, 2023

Misery tent

A very small and cramped office space consisting mainly of decent and fairly happy males but 1 bitter, beefy, vengeful, and menopausal female who creates a miserable work environment for all who enter said office space.

God, working here is like being in a misery tent!

by Who dat 62? December 26, 2011

Misery whip

A large, flexible, man powered saw for felling large trees. Using the saw is very strenuous. In modern terms it's used to disparage any repetitive physical task.

Check out my new rowing machine! It uses water to create the resistance.

That's a fancy misery whip.

by tcan November 22, 2016

Misery loves company

The result of a socialist being elected president. Individuals are no longer able to make anything out of their lives and get ahead; they all end up miserable like the lazy bums that collect welfare.

"Did you hear Bernie Sanders got elected president and is going to redistribute everybody's wealth?"
"Shit, with as many people as there are on welfare right now, it just proves that misery loves company!"

by ITNerd August 24, 2016