The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 2, 2024
Get the barnyard manletmug. The cerebrally and physically stunted myopic manlet is a microscopic mental midget of a minuscule manlet boy, who shortsightedly sees only the literally subhuman suffering of his own small-minded dwarven kind because, due to his eternal inability to grow up and be the bigger man, big picture thinking goes right over his pea-brained, little head. Deceased myopic manlets can often be found squashed flat as a pancake on country roads next to their close relative the, by comparison majestic, toad. Myopic manlets can easily be driven to venting their pent-up manlet rage and throwing a hissy fit with innocent questions and observations, such as: "Manlet detected.", "Nice high heels, my girlfriend has the same pair.", "Are you classified as a turbo-manlet? How tall are you?", "Aren't you the midget who played the manletservant Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun?"
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that little girl crying in front of that beauty salon? Manmore 2: Myopic manlet detected. I think his new acrylic nails broke off when he got mauled by that chihuahua over there. Manmore 1: Lol, the victorious chihuahua even took the sissy manlet's high heels! Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
Get the myopic manletmug. A manlet prostitute who markets his sad and submissive sexual services exclusively to Leather Daddies because obviously no woman is going to pay to have sex with a manlet. The petite and effeminate manlet of the night counter-intuitively plies his lowly trade in broad daylight in front of Lady Foot Lockers, where the sensationally stunted sissy manlet shamelessly prances around wearing nothing but lace panties, high heels and a training bra as he puffs on a Virginia Slims cigarette with both of his tiny, little hands while desperately hoping to earn some quick cash to get his fix of platform shoes and height boosting insoles. The manlet of the night's more affluent clientele can book a derisory and tenth-rate sissy manlet yacht party by inviting multiple manlets of the night to spend the day uselessly floating around in half nutshells in the unfortunate client's outdoor swimming pool while wearing microkinis and high heels as the girlishly giggling manlet boys oil each other up, frolic and play grab-ass like the diminutively elflike fairies that they are.
Sarah: Wow, it's really pouring down today! Hey, what's that scuttling around on the ground over there? Stacy: It appears to be a manlet of the night who has fashioned a used condom into an improvised raincoat. Sarah: Yuck! Manlets are just gross! Stacy: So true. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 27, 2024
Get the manlet of the nightmug. The matriculated manlet is a silly, little manlet boy who is senselessly enrolled at a college or university. Here the completely delusional and diminutively dwarfed Oompa Loompa wastes his time (when not working shifts at the chocolate factory) by furiously staring at all the tall and happy couples who walk around the campus like the bitter and envious peewee manlet that he is, crying all alone in the girl's bathroom after being asked by campus security if he was there for Take Your Daughter to Work Day and if he had lost his daddy and by being stuffed into backpacks, lockers, trashcans, lunchboxes, drawers, toilets, empty cigarette packs, pencil cases and used condoms like the inherently effeminate and minusculely malformed midget manlet bully magnet that he was always destined to be. When not being examined microscopically while standing on a petri dish by horrified microbiology students, the matriculated manlet is free to indulge in his true passions of girlishly practicing his bumbling cheerdance routine in an effort to become the captain of the local manlet football cheer squad and undergoing a brutal hazing ritual in order to join the only fraternity that would accept him, the Sigma Beta Manlet, by engaging in a fight to the death against fourteen other oiled up, bikini-clad midgets in an electrified bird cage.
Emma: Hey, why is that matriculated manlet tearfully ranting about women while sitting in his BMW in the parking lot over there? I could barely understand his manletspeak. Why all of the manlet rage? Isabella: He approached me, introduced himself as the supreme gentleman and brusquely told me to get in his car so that I can delight in his fabulousness and magnificence. I simply looked down at him and laughingly called him a petite and utterly insignificant little manlet fairy and then he just ran away crying to his Manletmobile. Emma: Manlets, when will they learn?
by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
Get the matriculated manletmug. The minuscule sexy sissy manlet is a fabulous, flamboyant and girlishly dressed manlet of the night who has embraced his inherent effeminacy and instantly commands the attention of every Leather Daddy in the vicinity by incessantly twerking, what can in comparison to his preposterously peculiar petiteness only be described as an ample posterior, on top of fence posts or by shamelessly gyrating atop of sewing pins embedded into front lawns while wearing nothing but high heels and a skin-tight leopard g-string, thereby readily signalling his enthusiastic availability as a submissive power bottom twink manlet boy toy in exchange for high heels, height boosting insoles, stilts and step stools.
Leather Daddy 1: Hey, isn't that a sexy sissy manlet coquettishly pirouetting on top of that fence post over there? Leather Daddy 2: Are you sure? Hand me your magnifying glass. You're right, indeed it is! Leather Daddy 1: I think I saw a discarded step stool on the curb back there. We'll spit-roast that femininely frisky fairy but let's get a standing blowjob from him first as he's perilously perched upon his newly acquired step stool! Leather Daddy 2: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 27, 2024
Get the sexy sissy manletmug. The murderous manlet is an outrageously overcompensating, grotesquely gnomish and severely stunted sexy sissy manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) who has childishly channeled his short man's syndrome-induced manlet rage into the pursuit and furtherance of criminal endeavors, which he is forced to conduct by the cowardly use of dwarfish manipulation tactics as he is obviously far too short to ever be looked up to as real man and a leader. The 5ft2 turbo-manlet Charles Milles Maddox "Manlet Boy" Manson, a misanthropic manlet and myopic manlet par excellence, learned the consequences of this lowly behavior the hard way when he was brutally bullied and turned into a prison wife manlet by the manmores of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang while incarcerated in the early 1970's after brainwashing his feeble-minded cult followers into committing an escalating series of violent crimes in California in the late 1960's and early 1970's, culminating in the horrific Tate murders on the night of August 8, 1969. Remember kids, say no to drugs, never trust a manlet and height is a choice!
Bagel Boss Manlet: Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss! Towering manmore: Lol, don't go all murderous manlet on me, you silly, little midget boy! What's wrong? Did your mommy drop your pacifier? Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 26, 2024
Get the murderous manletmug. A hole in the ground where manlets are found. Typically located in your local gym. Here the petite and effeminate manlet boys compare high heels, pay homage to their hero Randy Newman by singing Short People, futilely lift weights, jerk each other off and bitterly complain about women. Misery loves company. That's why the manlet pit is especially packed on Friday evenings and weekends because that's when normal people go out to socialize and have a great time. A concept that is, of course, completely foreign to a deeply insecure and comically stunted manlet pit inhabitant.
I just stepped over the manlet pit to hit the squat rack - WTF is going on down there? Just the usual, don't even worry about it bro. Everybody knows that short people got no reason.
by ManletDepreciator July 30, 2024
Get the Manlet Pitmug.