Guido torpedo

Any kind of fast car that a guido would drive or does drive with the tendency to explode when driven into a solid structure at high speeds.

Guido "Did you hear about Kevin"
other Guido"no"
Guido "Well turns out he took out half of rite-aid with his guido torpedo when he was trying to get some hair gel"
other Guido "Fucking waste of a V-dub"

by Dirty Dorian March 29, 2007

Guido Machine

A car (usually crappy import 4 cylinder or domestic equiv) driven by a sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area. Usually outfitted with ridiculous rims, a ridiculous spoiler, etc, etc.

Damn, look at that disgusting guido machine.

by Douchebaggierie February 28, 2010

Community Guidelines

That really long thing nobody reads but agrees too anyways. See also Content Guidelines.

"I agree to the community guidelines"

by Apple Byter February 21, 2020

r-rated tour guide

A college student who has sex with their college friends hometown friends when they are visiting.

Girl 1: "OMG, so-and-so's friend is visiting this weekend."
Girl 2: "Oh so you're gonna be an r-rated tour guide??"
Girl 1: Yeah, I heard he's pretty hot, and ill never have to see him again."

by shmoopdidiwhoop April 22, 2019

Guido Crown

A hair style, not always used by Italian males, where their hair is long and spiked up all around their head and not spiked in the middle of their head. Ususally there is an excess of gel used to achieve this look.

Giovanni goes out to clubs with his guido crown in hopes of attracing women.

by BiGirl422 May 22, 2009

Guido

an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette.

Could that guy at the bar be any greasier?! He is such a guido

by Liz August 20, 2003

guido workout

being able to bench press a car but not having the leg strength to carry their hairspray of tacky jewelry

That guido can't reach his arms to his undersized pockets because of his guido workout, so he is stuck in an infinite fist pump status

by squantch November 5, 2010