Home of neurotic lying scum living beyond their means.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Here is a user's guide to living in Calabasas:
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
by Freckles are beautiful January 14, 2010
Get the Calabasas mug.Cala Maria is the mermaid boss in Cuphead that pretty much everyone in the fandom has a crush on besides King Dice. She is commonly shipped with Mugman.
by joshler is real fite me January 4, 2018
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Calar
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• CalArts Style
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• calabrese
"Now I'm Of Consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret..."
The Lyrics To 'But It's Better If You Do' By Panic! At The Disco
The Lyrics To 'But It's Better If You Do' By Panic! At The Disco
by RxAxM August 19, 2007
Get the Cabaret mug.stuck up, bitchy, horny, "straight but willing to experiment", rich, slut princesses (with the exception of the minority of genuine people) and many of the guys are self centered egotistical testosterone filled jackasses with their heads shoved so far up their asses they cant see anymore and can go fuck the horses they rode in on twice because they are chauvinistic, condescending, patronizing, manipulative, imbroglio-causing, mannerless, naive, pricks with no respect and it is disgusting how they treat women and think so highly of themselves... then again the way many of the girls around here act, they probably deserve it, if theyre not totally provoking them.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
by Jessi December 30, 2003
Get the Calabasas mug.A camaraderie, or brotherhood, among cab drivers, as coined by Stephen Fry.
Drivers show cabaraderie when they let each other know where the traffic is bad, allow other cabs to pull in in front of them, and so on.
Drivers show cabaraderie when they let each other know where the traffic is bad, allow other cabs to pull in in front of them, and so on.
Stephen Fry, who used to drive a London cab, coined the word cabaraderie to describe the kindness shown to him by actual cab drivers.
by oopsnearlyrolledthecar August 19, 2008
Get the cabaraderie mug.total know-it-all, original styled, drama queen who loves any form of attention. Intelligent, but no common sense.
by Belinda McEntyre February 3, 2010
Get the Caladea mug.When you're making love to a woman in the missionary position, but have to finish quickly, therefore you push her legs over her shoulders and keep them straight with your upper body, whilst continuing along with the sexual penetration in a frantic and rapid motion, much like a jackhammer hitting concrete.
"Bro, was at this chicky babe's house last night but had to meet up with the boys in 10 mins, so gave her the Calabrese Jackhammer and got out of there quick "
by MinchiaSteve September 13, 2017
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