Altoona

The sweetest city in existence. It's got the only Super Sheetz in the world, and some trains. There's a mall, too.

I hear that when you die, if you've lived a holy life, you ascend into Altoona, PA.

by J-Rike May 15, 2007

alton

a really cute guy that plays sport and is also a jock

u r cute!

by Anonymous October 11, 2003

Being an Alton

Being a douchebag, not unlike Alton Brown of the Food Network.

That guy? He's being an Alton and dancing on pregnant women with soccer cleats on.

by Father Crunkle December 11, 2011

alton

im alton and yeah i am cool

look how cool that alton guy is

by alton July 12, 2004

Altoona

See also: Hell

A city in Central Pennsylvania. Usually, people who come from this area are uneducated. Literacy rates are lower here than any other city in the Northern United States. 78% of female teens (under 18) are pregnant. Obesity rates are also among the highest of any other City in the United States.

Altoona is a retirement community, based around old people, waiting to die. It's main commerce consists of drug trafficking and prostitution. Disease runs rampent, as 28% of the city's supply of drinking water is contaminated with protazoan cysts and oocysts, mercury, and DDT.

The population of people under 60 (which is 12%) are all redneck farmers or want-to-be gansters. In fact, i've become dumber just thinking about Altoona.

Main forms of entertainment in Altoona are drugs, racing on the boulevard, and hanging out at Sheetz(a gas station).

Man one: Wanna go to dat der Altoona and hang out down der at da Sheetz?

Man two: *puts gun in mouth* *BANG!*

Man one: Oh no! You got blood on my new overalls!

by Samual Malone January 5, 2011

alton brown

Host of one of the best cooking shows ever made. A unique combination of cooking science, history and cooking equipment overview with a touch of humor and cast of unforgettable characters. Each episode focuses on a particular food or ingredient, such as steak, garlic, squid, gravy, eggplant (yes, eggplant), etc. The recipes are simple and easy to reproduce.

I learned to cook a steak and baked potatoes the best way from watching alton brown on Good Eats.

by bob zimuta May 12, 2006

Alton

A small town in southern Illinois. Filled with white trash wiggers, and hillbillys. They do have a small number of black people there though who many of the residents of Alton think gives them an excuse to act like their town is the ghetto. Many of the residents of Alton are lower middle class, although some of its residents are extremely wealthy. Alton is supposedly one of the most haunted small towns in the USA. A very long time ago Alton,IL had a higher population than St.Louis,MO.

Alton wigger- "YO NIGGA I B STR8 OUTTA A-TOWN!"
Chicago black guy- "What part of Atlanta?"
Alton wigger-"NAH SON MY HOOD B UPPER ALTON 6 1 8 AREA CODE!"
Chicago black guy-"LISSEN HURR HONKEY U BEST SHUT YO MOUF AN QUIT ACTIN BLACK B FO I SNATCH YO ATL BRAVES HAT OFF YO MELON HEAD AN FUCK YO ASS UP!"
Alton wigger-"YO HOMIE ITS ALL GOOD DOG!"
Chicago black guys gun-"BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!"
Chicago black guy-"BITCH ASS PUSSY MUTHA FUCKA!!"

by diarena December 29, 2008