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squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler
Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!
by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016
mugGet the squat cobblermug.

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.
He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.
by Yankwood August 29, 2016
mugGet the Hoboken Squat Cobblermug.

Midget Squat Fuck

A short or small person that is an arsehole or generally a bar person
Do you you know Steve?
Is Steve the short guy?
Yeah that’s him
Yeah fuck that guy he’s a midget squat fuck
by Frogsquatch November 11, 2020
mugGet the Midget Squat Fuckmug.

Boo Diddly Squat

"Boo Diddly Squat" is my second Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun" joke. "Boo Diddly," is a Super Mario Bros. series, ghost enemy. "Soak Up The Sun," mentions her job, "doesn't pay diddly squat," meaning it doesn't pay her enough. In this case, Sheryl Crow, in the Mario's Mushroom Kingdom, is angry, that Boo Diddly's doesn't get paid, for working for Koopa Bowser! A joke!
Sheryl Crow, is angry, that a Koopa Bowser minion, a ghost, is paid "Boo Diddly Squat" despite being, a great employee, of this boss! A joke!
by I'mcrazy August 8, 2024
mugGet the Boo Diddly Squatmug.

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in pie while fully clothed in order to satisfy another's sexual desire.
Jimmy McGill told those sneakin pigs all about that squat cobbler Pryce.
by sabresfan30 September 3, 2016
mugGet the squat cobblermug.

Omaha Squat

Like the Carolina Squat, but with race cars shortly after launching. Most noticeable on cars with wheelie bars, sans wheels.
"Hey! Did you see Joey's Omaha Squat at The Equalizer Street Race in Kansas last week?"
by NopityNopelstein March 29, 2021
mugGet the Omaha Squatmug.

dove squatting

When you buy so much dove body wash that you have filled your primary residence, and your only option in is to rent the neighbouring house and default on it.
There was a sexy party going on at number 13, but we knew the tenants were dove squatting. We sent Jonny in, and he confirmed it was everywhere.
by B-double-D April 24, 2020
mugGet the dove squattingmug.

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