closet crunch

When your girlfriend is knee deep in housework and you ambush her while she's putting clothes away, get her all folded up in the corner of the closet like a cheap lawn chair & bang the daylights out of her. After, you pull one of her shirts off the hanger to wipe up with.

Stacie was super busy putting clothes away, when Eric totally snuck up on her & gave her a heavy dose of the ol' closet crunch.

by ms super funnier than eric November 15, 2011

Closet-Crush

A person someone would never admit to having a crush on because of how much of a weird loser they are

Guy 1: “Oh what about Maddie?”
Guy 2: “Oh her naw she’s way to weird. But she’s hot enough to be my Closet-Crush.”

by xXxAngelCakexXx January 17, 2023

dog closet

A place that is worse than the dog house. A place that James is put when Julie is mad at him and can be paroled for good behavior.

Did Julie put James in the dog closet again?! Wtf?!

by Bunny_Lopez February 3, 2021

closet whore

The person everyone loves to fuck but no one admits to it. The one that never gets introduced to friends or relatives. Is frequently taken out and played with but never discussed.

We go out so little I'm starting to feel like a closet whore.

by MizGided July 25, 2022

the basement closet

When you are secretly a nerd but are also secretly gay.

Travis, come out of the basement closet already. Everyone knows you blow Taurens on world of warcraft.

by RSMILEY88 June 24, 2022

Closet babe

a homesexual male living a secret heterosexual life. Prefers to be the submissive type in the heterosexual relationship.

Mario has been living as a closet babe.

by Username1234509876 October 17, 2022

closet lock

the parter of someone who is secretly gay and doesn’t want to come out. They are used as the protection of their significant others sexuality so that people assume they are straight.

omg Peter was using Lisa as his closet lock because he didn’t want people to think he was gay

by secretclownsociety November 9, 2021