turd insecurity

A public restroom phenomenon in which the turd dumper needs complete privacy in order to do their thing. The presence of another person in the adjacent stall, or even the restroom, will cause sphincters to pucker to less than a 1 cm.

This is especially true if the turd dumper knows he/she is going to have an embarrassing explosive turd, complete with lots of gas and splashing sounds.

Two persons with turd insecurity in adjacent stalls results in a very uncomfortable , time consuming experience for both. A solution is to flush the toilet in sync with dumping the turd, hopefully masking the dump.

His sphincter tight with turd insecurity, Steve hoped the person in the next stall would leave. In the next stall, Mark harbored the same hopes.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

turd burgler

A rude term describing a homosexual man. It specifically refers to his prediliction for anal sex. Its usage is similar to butt pirate, which is certainly inappropriate, but not as hateful as faggot.

"I hate that turd burgler Elton John!"

by El Roberto August 1, 2004

Trailer Turd

Someone who is two faced, inelegant, back stabbing, trash talking, underhanded, and simple minded. Don't cross Aviva Drescher or her father George Teichner, if so you may be called this not so endearing name.

Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan of the Real Housewives of New York are Trailer Turds according to Aviva Drescher's father George Teichner.

by Dorey_Girl on Twitter October 8, 2012

turd fondler

1.one who inserts their hand into another's anus.
2. a homosexual man.
3. an idiot or jackass.

That Sid in marketing is a real turd fondler, I'd like to slit his throat.

by Dr. Literate September 11, 2008

Turd Ambush

A Turd Ambush is a surprise Turd Assault, since the victim doesn't see it coming.

I felt like I had to take a big crap, but it was just a Turd Ambush.

by WhiteyMcWhitster July 5, 2006

i-Turd

An individual fiercely loyal to Apple products no matter how well they work or how much better any other product may be. They will go to any length to purchase the newest Apple product no matter what it's called. Put an "i" in front of anything and an i-Turd has to have it. About once a year they can be seen camping out in front of the Apple store, sipping Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks coffee, 24 hours before the release of the newest iteration of the i-Phone, i-Pod and/or i-Pad to purchase it.

Jeff: "Dude, why do you have that PC and that Droid? You have to get a Mac and an i-Phone. They're so much better!"

Brian: "I like these better."

Jeff: "I only buy apple products. They NEVER fail! I would buy a turd if Apple sold them!"

Brian: "You are an i-Turd!"

by The Original Skrimpy September 1, 2013

time and a turd

in the same way that you would do overtime and claim time and a half, you have shit at work and claim time and a turd

boss "where have you been"
employee "just claimed time and a turd"

by emerged hairy ben July 13, 2009