Watering My Monkey

An excuse to tell your friend when you aren't really busy, but don't actually want to spend time with them either.

"Hey Elizabeth, can you hang out tonight" "No, sorry, I'm watering my monkey tonight"

by thndrchunky December 1, 2016

Monkey Roll

A combination of cartwheels and somersaults at high velocity whilst spraying shit within the fecal zone.

Girl:"Omg! What's that guy doing??"

Dude:"He's monkey rolling"

Girl2:"Oh my God I got sprayed by something."

Dude:"I would definitely suggest spitting and not swallowing on this one."

by CockAdoodleDoo!! December 8, 2016

Cock Monkey

A person who jumps from one man to the next.

Wow. Raelynn really is a cock monkey.

by KWOW3 December 19, 2016

Burned the monkey

When you distroy shit your ex gave you... as in the time he gave you a stuffed animal, and then broke up with you so you burned it.

Friend: So how are things going with tom?
You: I burned the monkey..!
Friend: OH.!.

by Fo'realdoe December 19, 2016

Douche monkey

Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with

(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."

(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."

by Dalyena October 26, 2015

high-fived-a-monkey

When you wipe your ass and you get shit on your hand.

Dude, gross, it looks like you high-fived-a-monkey in the bathroom.

by HIVaherpagonorrhebolaids December 6, 2015

morse monkey

Someone in the armed forces who made a living out of listening to morse code

I used to be a morse monkey.

by candle12 February 2, 2016