A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
Get the Taser Monkey mug.Boss: Kathryn what are you doing?
Kathryn: I'za doin my werk like a good Paper Monkey!
Guy on a first date: So what do you do for a living?
Girl: I work at a car dealership, processing loan applications.
Guy: Ohh! Your a Paper Monkey!
Kathryn: I'za doin my werk like a good Paper Monkey!
Guy on a first date: So what do you do for a living?
Girl: I work at a car dealership, processing loan applications.
Guy: Ohh! Your a Paper Monkey!
by RedRibbonSword October 19, 2010
Get the PAPER MONKEY mug.Related Words
monkeya
• monkeyape
• monkey
• monkey nuts
• Monkey Boy
• monkeybutt
• monkeyman
• monkeyfuck
• Monkey Wrench
• monkey ball
Cradling your significant other's hefty ball sacks in the cup of your hand, taking pressure off the penal area known as the perineum.
Hey dude?
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
by HPFBanana Hammock March 31, 2011
Get the Cradle Monkey mug.Dawn: You are the best guy ever. I can't believe we are in this relationship. I've always wanted someone like you in my life.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
by gushmonkey May 10, 2011
Get the Gush monkey mug.A sexual position on the secret last page of the kama sutra sex book, in which the male hangs upside down from a rope attatched to the ceiling and another male/female hangs from the first males genitals. The rope is then rapidly swung in an anti clockwise direction, putting a lot of stress on the first males genitals; the primary objective being to enlarge the penis.
faiz had a 7 foot long dick, must have been practisibg the spazzy monkey often.
danesh has the biggest penis I have ever seen. That's coz he does the spazzy monkey with joshua
danesh has the biggest penis I have ever seen. That's coz he does the spazzy monkey with joshua
by Al Jabreezi Jihad November 23, 2013
Get the spazzy monkey mug.Stereotypically, any Asian that is amazing at any math and/or math concepts and that can compute all of these concepts without the use of the calculator. These are typically the Asians that succeed in any classes having to do with math or science with little to no work being done as it just comes naturally to them based on their genetics in these subjects. Also, you use them to help you receive good grades in classes and help them by making friends they wouldn't normally have.
Person 1: "Hey man, did you get the answer to #5, the algebraic equation?"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"
by Paceyourself February 7, 2014
Get the calculator monkey mug.A car monkey is when a female gives a man oral pleasure while driving in a car. She should topless and at least slightly buzzed. Verb
My wife got drunk as hell last night at the beach club, and hit me with a car monkey on the way home, that shit was hella good!
by Madmax16 May 17, 2016
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