"I just got diagnosed with Covid-25, don't know why they had to stick something up my nose to figure that out."
by Namelessyeti April 16, 2020
Get the Covid-25mug. Likened to the dreaded Freshman 15, the 15 pounds of weight you gain in the first year of college, the COVID-19 is the 19 pounds of weight you can expect to gain from sheltering in place and stress eating during a pandemic. You gain the COVID-19 when FedEx delivers the delicious prepared meals you ordered for the week and you're so bored you eat them all by Tuesday. You gain the COVID-19 when, finally, you eat up all the damn cans of beans you hoarded in March 2019 because you've been out of work so long you can't afford any new food.
I used to be celery, but after gaining the COVID-19 I'm a 🍐.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
by Sygh January 29, 2021
Get the COVID-19mug. Covid Karma is the term used for when someone crazy about protecting themselves from getting Covid-19 and is an asshole about it towards other people contract covid despite their efforts not to. This person treats their friends kindly while assuming strangers are sick. They wear a mask in front of people they don’t like and take it off while in the company that they prefer
by Lusti23 December 8, 2021
Get the covid karmamug. The new official orwellian name for "monkeypox." The World Health Organization (WHO) changed/rename monkeypox over concerns from scientists that the name is "discriminatory and stigmatizing."
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
Gay Man 1: Eeeeeew, what are all those bumps and sores on your face? You need to see a doctor about that?
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
by Rastathewhite July 29, 2022
Get the Schlong Covidmug. The waiting time between getting a Covid-19 test and receiving results when you must be in isolation.
Sorry, I can't go out tonight. I have the sniffles so I got a Covid test yesterday and haven't gotten the results yet. It feels like I have Schrödinger's Covid.
by Jen X December 21, 2021
Get the Schrödinger's Covidmug. When your woman (or man if incarcerated) is on all fours and you are driving your man plug home without using any virus protection equipment, you have them turn to look at you. When they react to your calling, you shoot your baby butter deep and sneeze in their face effectively giving them your gifts of hot sex and Covid.
by JR382 January 14, 2022
Get the Covid Showermug. Adj- descriptive of state of mind regarding planning where one acknowledges the fact that between now and the time of an event, circumstances can change, all hell can break loose and you might have to adjust your plans- but you are ok with that.
by Vegas-21 August 5, 2020
Get the COVID-flexiblemug.