Speeding Ticket

(NOUN): A summons issued to a coworker or employee when they screw up a task because of task saturation. Or a summons your spouse issues to you for screwing something up even though you are managing a thousand things correctly.

e.g., 1) My boss keeps giving me more sh*t to do just so he can give me a speeding ticket for messing up a task. 2) My wife is always giving me speeding tickets when I screw up and when I give her a speeding ticket, she always figures out how to turn it around and issue the speeding ticket back at me.

by Barely Managing February 13, 2023

Floating a Ticket

Floating a ticket is a scam often employed by servers in restaurants. It is usually accomplished by ringing in one generic ticket (e.g. a water and salad bar) and handing the same check to multiple persons. This is of course impossible to use with credit cards as an authorization is required. Obviously, floating a ticket constitutes theft and could result in prosecution. So don't do it.

Server 1: I've got to pay my rent in three days and I'm a buck fifty behind.
Server 2: Float a couple of salad bars. That shouldn't be a problem.
Server 1: Isn't floating a ticket illegal?
Server 2: Only if you get caught.

by Mr. Woodford June 1, 2009

Mother-in-law Ticker

The "ticker" to the upper right corner of your Face Book screen that screams out every move you make to the whole Face Book world is known as the Mother-in-Law-Ticker. It scrolls your every move to those who know you and those you don't. Some people love it but most people hate it. It is called the MIL- Ticker because of it's striking similarity to the stereotypical Mother-In-Law (nosy, loud and rude).

"The Mother-in-Law Ticker robs me of any privacy I thought I had."

or
"I love the Mother-in-Law Ticker because I am a voyeur."

or

"The Mother-in-Law Ticker on Face Book is so annoying."
or
"With the Mother-in-Law Ticker, you can see what everyone is doing at any moment of the day."

by BigMonky Monk December 6, 2011

The Waffle Tinkerer

When you blow in a girls vagina so hard that her fallopian tunes inflate and burst like a balloon

I gave a girl the Waffle Tinkerer last night and now she needs intense fallopian tube reconstruction

by TheSlangMasta October 4, 2014

just the ticket

very suitable and exactly what is needed

This tool is just the ticket!

by manfred.ackermann April 21, 2018

dave matthews tickets

Code for DMT or dimethyltryptamine

Dude i've got those Dave Matthews Tickets, you ready to blastoff?

by Futchy December 20, 2017

10 nudes ticket

this is a ticket that can be used only 5 times you send this definition to a person of your desire and that person has to send you 10 fully naked nudes of theyr choice

person 1 sends 10 nudes ticket definition
person 2 alright alright sends 10 nudes
person 1 thank you

by jackalob May 28, 2020