Skip to main content

Bad News Brad

A lumbering, sub-human brute with a bulbous frame and an unnaturally wide base. His thick, fat, calloused hooves are often crammed into women’s footwear. His face, a big, dumb, perfectly round slab of confusion, sits atop his hairy mass, though his scalp remains curiously barren. He speaks in a slow, monotone drawl, as if each word is a struggle against his own stupidity.

Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), he suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.

A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.

Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
After clogging the toilet for the third time that week, Bad News Brad waddled out, wiped his sweaty brow, and blamed it on his undiagnosed heart condition.
by Dwaggerbomb March 13, 2025
mugGet the Bad News Bradmug.

Brad

A guy born in 1972 that shoots 72
Brad shot par again
by Browntrout55 October 3, 2023
mugGet the Bradmug.

brad

guy: you’re literally brad<3
girl: aww u think i’m perfect
by ilysmbrad July 27, 2021
mugGet the bradmug.

Brad Seltzer

A very cool guy who like history a bit too much.
Miguel: Hey you're getting a little too interested in the Civil War
Me: Sorry, I'm just a Brad Seltzer
by Brad Seltzer Fan December 19, 2021
mugGet the Brad Seltzermug.

Brad

Brad is such a good hvher
by LegendaryHvH December 13, 2020
mugGet the Bradmug.

Brad potts

A football player who received lots of backlash for excreting on a car, he was slated for a long time however Preston North End love him and has now acquired the chant “he’ll shit on your car”
Brad Potts scored an astronomical karate kick goal, what a legend

I hope Brad Potts excretes on my car.
by CheddyEvans69 December 22, 2022
mugGet the Brad pottsmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email