Slim Jesus

A fuckboy who can't hang.

Person 1:Ay yo who the hell is Slim Jesus?
Person 2:A fuckboy who cant't hang.

by Squire#1 September 7, 2016

Jesus Hug

noun; a hug that is loving in feeling, but non-sexual

Joanne looked so forlorn that Bobby came over and gave her a Jesus hug.

by wordlady May 6, 2006

GI Jesus

A real american hero GI Jesus is there! GI Jesus is responsible for winning both world wars, all wars won by the United States, and for kicking the ass of all religious fanatics. He also grants salvation and immortality to anyone who believes he is their messiah. He allowed himself to be captured by the Romans, so that he could die for all the screwed up stuff we do. His spirit continues to fight today for the United States, agianst anyone who thinks they can defeat the good old USA.

- Hey Osama, GI Jesus is going to blow you straight to hell and then leave you there to burn for all eternity.

by Star Destroyer January 14, 2008

Jacking It to Jesus

The higher your hair is, the closer you are to the Lord.

If the Pagent Princess wants to win the crown, she has to make sure her stylist is Jacking It to Jesus during hair and make-up.

by MrsMissa January 1, 2012

Nazi Wrestling Hackers for Jesus

A bunch of nazi wrestling hackers who are for Jesus. Or a bunch of hackers for Jesus who wrestle nazis. Or something.

NWH4J is and remains the best place for porn.

by Kaptian Kürbis February 18, 2004

would Jesus microwave a burrito?

slang. Phrase is often used to confuse and torment children.

Variation 1: "why did the chicken cross the road and how do they like their eggs cooked?"

Variation 2: "if the universe is finite, then what's on the other side?"

Origin: Bored people with no life

And what are we going to do about all of these wrong number dialers?

by John Gibby January 7, 2005

Creeping Jesus

Originally used in Ireland to describe a Catholic making a public display of religiosity simply for show.
Nowadays it refers to those who put on a big act to impress people, hypocritically. They creep around pumping hands and grinning like goons, oozing compliments and uttering clichés, all the while dying for a chance to stab you in the back. If you work with one you'll see people getting fired in their wake, and don't be surprised if you're next.

That Creeping Jesus charmed information out of me and then told the boss everything I said, to get me sacked, and he did the same to ten others.

by Winston Ryder September 6, 2007