ass hag

a very bitchy and annoying old man or woman

Old lady: You guys dress so demonic! See back in my-
Jaxx: Shut up, you ass hag.

by finnisstupid December 20, 2023

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cupboard hag

A crotchety old bag of bones that lurks around one's home without the knowledge of the residents

the cupboard hag sat in the musty attic combing her thinning hair and trolling people on the internet

by Cupboardhag November 14, 2015

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A gay man who attaches himself to emotionally unavailable men—often straight, closeted, partnered, or just disinterested—while secretly longing for love, sex, or approval.

He gets close to their girlfriends, mothers, even wives to gain access. He offers loyalty, affection, and emotional labor in exchange for crumbs. Disarming, devoted, and low-key strategic, the Gag Hag plays both sides—never quite chosen, but always nearby.

Beneath the devotion lies a deeper script: a quiet competition with the mother for Daddy’s love—only now, he gets close to her to get closer to him.

Underneath it all?
A deep hunger for Daddy’s love.
And a silent hope that one day… he’ll be chosen.

“I felt like a total Gag Hag as I helped him slip on the shirt I had just ironed—for his date with her.”

“I introduced them… and somehow I ended up adjusting her veil before she walked down the aisle—to marry him. Gag Hag.”

by Brobituary August 6, 2025

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hagged over

after a night of drinking, you wake up to find the girl you've been with all night lies next to you in bed, but instead of being the beauty you'd imagined her to be the in yester-night, she now turns out to be completely hagged over.

...and then she turns around and oh my god she's totally hagged over so I threw up and said that it's cause I'm totally hung over.

by heythewhat October 23, 2014

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