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bert the turtle

A turtle used in the '50s to promote "Duck and Cover" in the case of an atomic bomb exploded. You can watch the video on you tube.
Tert The Burtle said, "Cuck and Dover" --- er, i mean, Bert the Turtle... same differemce
by Mr. Stinkypride February 2, 2017
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tits on a turtle

by Curly March 22, 2017
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Imma go polish my turtle

When a person feels uncomfortable in a sentence an feels the need to leave suddenly without alarming or making the other person/people mad. Also used to make your exit more lighthearted and funny.
"Aoife i heard you like Cole. But hes my ex."
"Welp imma go polish my turtle BOB junior now TA"
by aoifemxgann June 6, 2017
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SPANKING THE TURTLE

The act of trying to slap a turtle head back up your luscious cheeks to avoid sheer embarrassment and the otter humiliation that comes with shitting your pants. This commonly done when restrooms are not available.
“Bro, I was SPANKING THE TURTLE 🐢 in hopes I would make it to a bathroom in time.”
by Steven dickerson June 17, 2018
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Wiping the Turtle's mouth

When you are trying to poo (shit) but the faeces gets lodged in the opening to the anal cavity, often known as a turtle's head poking out. When you can push no more, but the turtle remains trapped, wiping during this scenario is known as Wiping the Turtle's mouth.
Craig came back from the dunger and informed Jon "That was a tough one Jon, I just ended up wiping the turtle's mouth" Jon understood instantly.
by Broaders September 6, 2019
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Yertle the Turtle

The sexiest character in all of Dr Suess’ books. Anyone who plays the part of the sexy turtle himself is bound to have sex almost everyday. If you have the honor of sleeping with Yertle you instantly become the sexiest person in a 17.23 mile radius.
Wow the girl is the sexiest person in a 17.23 mile radius she must of fucked yertle the turtle
by Hurburt December 1, 2019
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Sexual Royalty Titles

A sexual royal fetish that dukes, marquesses, earls, viscounts, barons, kings, duchesses, marchionesses, countesses, viscountesses, baronesses, and queens do.
*moans* oh fuck I love sexual royalty titles!
by ladyfzesimp February 28, 2022
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