condom light

The small light inside a vehicle, usually located around the rearview mirror that allows just enough light to see to put on a condom.

Girl: Lucky you are gonna have to turn on your condom light so I can see to put this on you.

Guy: What do you mean, this thing is ten inches. A blind man could see that.

by lucky 2007 December 28, 2007

Condom

A rubber thing that you out over a guy's penis so you don't get a disease or get pregnant. SMART IDEA, FREAK MIDGETS SUCK!

Girl: Heyyyyy baby, wanna have sex?? ................. without a condom? ;)

Boy: Aw, hell no bitch!! FREAK MIDGETS SUCK.

by gingerbread gal August 7, 2011

jesus condom

a term used for a nonexistent condom, derived from the fact that Jesus was a virgin and therefore would not have needed a condom at all. it makes sense, trust me.

so, basically, sex without a condom.

Yeah, me and Janet hit it off with a jesus condom last night.

by asbo August 17, 2006

monster condom

When you take a shit so large it dwarfs over your dick, you wrap a shower curtain around it and tear that person's rectum open. Stretch it front to back.

#monster #condom #dwarf #shower #curtain

"Bruh i gave that guy a great monster condom session! He waddled for a week! Poor dog...

by BigBuffBoi November 16, 2017

parent condom

noun - A shame barricade created by parents to protect their hormonal teenage sons from doing the "Bad Touch" to other parents' daughters.

Also, an effective contraceptive.

Parent Condom: "Oh, look here he is at 6 running around the yard naked.... Look at the little pipi!!!"

by SpazZilla April 23, 2006

California Condom

When you stuff a smallish box into a free flat rate envelope to defeat the high cost of shipping to far off places.

Brenda in Long Beach ordered this sweater from me. It's $9.85 to ship it in it's own box, but I crammed it into a California Condom and got the cost down to $6.90

by global_shipper December 22, 2018

Internet condom

A version of parental controls that makes internet browsing safe and searching for dank memes impossible. Made for guys named Yung.

Yung: I need protection... like rubber outfit before searching for dank stuff.
Other user: an internet condom?

by Constlyung October 28, 2017