The act of a male pressing his testicles (penis held askew) against a transparent or translucent surface, rendering them flat and spread out, not unlike an oyster. The full scrotum would be against the surface. Commonly pressed surfaces include bus shelters, exgirlfriend's car windshields, and bar windows.
"So get this - we're waiting for the bus, and Brendan sees Stephanie coming our way, he totally drops his parachute pants and gives her the pressed oysters. It totally blew her away!"
"Richard showed the unsuspecting home improvement store girl his pressed oysters through the glass block he held against his waist. She was not pleased."
"Richard showed the unsuspecting home improvement store girl his pressed oysters through the glass block he held against his waist. She was not pleased."
by lexicon_t October 28, 2013
Get the pressed oystersmug. The bench press is the most alpha exercise to do apart from pull ups, to do bench press lay your ass on a flat bench and grab a barbell and press it up and down this exercise builds your chest shoulders and triceps, some people don’t do this exercise because of left shoulder pain
by Hades 69 March 9, 2024
Get the Bench pressmug. Person 1: This program I use just removed a popular feature... I can't believe it!
Person 2: Ah, but that was a press bait; they recently changed their terms of service to take custody of your baby.
Person 2: Ah, but that was a press bait; they recently changed their terms of service to take custody of your baby.
by everythingsTakenAAAAA May 27, 2025
Get the press baitmug. A quite dangerous first kiss for strongmen and strongwomen athletes that involves both people to press their logs and then miss with the log over head. The perfect Instagram post.
by Cmonkey April 18, 2022
Get the Log press kissmug. The Cleveland Press is the male version of a Brazilian wax; except instead of waxing the hair, it's just straightened.
I was getting ready for a circle jerk with the boys, and buddy told me he'd spread my cheeks if I wanted. I went for a Cleveland Press to clean it up a bit, it was full of willknots.
by iPeeLoudInBushes February 9, 2024
Get the Cleveland Pressmug. He yelled and yelled for someone to bring him some toilet paper, butt nobody was home. He had to French Press it all the way upstair to get some.
by Maniconwords December 31, 2024
Get the French Pressmug. by elgueroo February 5, 2021
Get the PRESSmug.