A history primarily based on what the United States could never accomplish: the right way to be a country.
U.S. dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
by canadiansabatour February 5, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. A term referring to the past of the GREAT nation of Canada. However, some mistaken it with a sex act due to misinformation from Stephen Corbert.
by IamCanadianCheers February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexually deviant act, prevalent in the American Midwest, in which two crack-addicted prostitutes are simultaneously penetrated by a mounted pair of moose antlers (often involving double-penetration if the spread of the antler tines permit). Then, each prostitute drinks as much maple syrup as she is physically able. They then must cause themselves to vomit the syrup into the Stanley Cup, which is placed some feet away, all without causing the moose antlers to be 'coughed out' from their respective orifices. The prostitute who first scores a "basket" into the trophy with her maple-syrup vomit wins, and gets to live. The loser is killed and disposed of in a dumpster behind a truck stop. Note that coughing out her antler is grounds for disqualification.
This is most often performed on April 17th, in observance of the signing the Canada Act by Elizabeth II in 1982.
This is most often performed on April 17th, in observance of the signing the Canada Act by Elizabeth II in 1982.
by Archibald P. Fillibuster February 4, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. the sexual act of pouring maple syrup on ones genitals while sticking moose antlers in your ass and urethra while singing Oh Canada
by mtw800 February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. by AbsoIuteZero February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. by umpa lumpa master 45 March 15, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexual act, where a man takes a dump on a woman's face, makes her give him and blow job, and then after he cums on her face, he pees in her mouth.
Dude 1: "Did you hear what Johnny did last night? He did the Canada's History on that biatch!"
Dude 2: "Oh snap my good friend!"
Dude 2: "Oh snap my good friend!"
by Canada'sHistory February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.