john oliver effect

When you get a sexy text from a stranger and just as you set off the “wee woo wee woo boner alert 🚨” you then wonder to yourself if the text is actually from a scammer being held captive in Myanmar or Cambodia

Me: Hey, I just got a wrong number text from a really hot Russian girl
Boris: Oh yeah? What’s she look like?
Me: (shows my phone to my friend)
Boris: She’s hawt! Uh oh! Wee woo wee woo boner alert 🚨….. uh wait a minute
Me: oh no
Boris: yeah, this is John Oliver effect.

by Lookit Mike Rotch February 27, 2024

askew john

A Sloppy Joe sandwich with caviar added on top.

"Our stimulus checks came in! You know what that means!"
"What? Askew Johns?"
"You're damn right! Break out the caviar!"

by Hotdogwatericecream December 5, 2022

John

John Is the best boyfriend ever. He knows how to make a girl happy and is extremely sweet. He makes sure you’re always happy and cheers you up when you’re not. He’s always there for you, through thick and thin. He’ll never leave you because he loves you so much. He’s one of the sweetest boys you’ll ever date.

Boy; Hey she’s pretty

Friend; dude she’s dating a John you have no chance

Boy; Aw nuts

by Lunee March 13, 2022

Johns Gravy

When you go to the John with a case of the wet shits and the toilet water looks like your Aunt Gina's gravy

Travis: Hey man, you said you stomach hurt earlier. Are you doing any better?
Mohsin: Yeah, I made a big pot of Johns Gravy before I left

by mushroom_on_jupiter June 19, 2022

John Gallagher III

He is the thiccest man in existence the sound of his asscheeks clapping is louder than Thor smacking the fuck out of a mountain if i was gay id tap that ass we do not stop until nightfall

Bro is that a nuclear bomb or is that just John Gallagher III's asscheeks

by IsBadAtMath November 6, 2023

johne

Only for me

Me used that big cock so stop using it only for me

Johne is a sentance wich means that you have used the cok and its only for you

by anonymous October 26, 2020

john

A stupid asshole who ditches someone ,whom they’ve been friends with for years, for a group of friends he just met through an old friend. He’s someone who thinks he’s better than everyone and has the right to make people feel worthless. He’ll be a great friend at one point but in a blink of an eye he’ll just avoid and ignore you until he has no one else to hang out with.

Fuck you and I hope you end up alone.

“Omg I’m so sorry I ditched you I was pulling a John.”

by Smartcrazylady November 22, 2023