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John Lewis Teaspoon

The term to "John Lewis Teaspoon" someone is to go and purchase a brand new sparkly teaspoon from the local John Lewis store.
The spoon can only be purchased from a John Lewis store and cannot be from any other store.
Once purchased the purchaser uses the teaspoon to remove one eye from the targeted person using only the spoon. After the eye has been removed and only the socket remains, the person with the tea spoon has intercourse with the eye socket of the person lacking the eye.
Person 1 "Glen is such a pain in the arse"

Person 2 " Yeah, if he keeps it up I'm gonna John Lewis Teaspoon him"

Or

Person 1 "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO! IM GONNA JOHN LEWIS TEASPOON THE CRAP OUT OF YOU"

Person 2 "EEEEEK"
by 969-696 February 19, 2024
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Father John Misty

One of the best indie artist of all of the times, mahashmashana is his newest album to date, and his best (in my opinion fuck your opinion) is God's Favorite Customer
I have a big crush on Father John Misty
Father John Misty isn't that pedo priest from your church
by ThatGuyInAGasMask December 3, 2024
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John Cornelius

You know when I first watched the polar express as a kid, I had a crush on John Cornelius
“What is wrong with you”
by FanOfPolarExpress31 October 9, 2023
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John moment

this is a term used by people for when someone, preferably by the name of John, says something or posts something that isn’t funny at all. that is when the term is used to show how unfunny your friend John is.
“dude, check this out!!”
*John shows something unfunny*
“wow, that’s an John moment.”
by Johnnotfunny2020 October 5, 2020
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John

Oh my gosh, what a john, he has beautiful hair for beautiful people and superhero body on roblox
by My pseudonym, not yours April 18, 2021
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John

A misunderstood man.

He has many good qualities and bad. Any of the Johns that you may meet usually carry an Irish heritage, which means he has something that is growing expansively on his body, whether his height, weight, or maybe even his package. He is funny, usually leaning towards dry humor, but he always knows how to make a joke, give or take. You definitely want to be around him, but he serves more of the purpose of "comic relief", so make sure at least a few other people are there to allow him to take breaks from the spotlight.

Total introvert, but can flexibly switch in between. Wants to be included in everything, but he's either lazy/picky, unaware, or worried that he will gain more social anxiety than what he was looking for. He doesn't have much self esteem because he was born sensitive to a lot of things; Hates leaving his comfort zone but always wants to break out of it.

He's more of a sweetheart and a friend than anything. If both you and John consider yourselves in a relationship as friends, he gets a special feeling when he is with you, one that makes him feels as if he knows you care in some aspect. That's all he needs to be able to be open about himself and open you listen to you. If in a relationship with a significant other, he is just happy to know that someone is willing to be there with him. A simple yet utterly complicated man.
Hey, can you tell me about John?
Yeah, he's an awesome guy, but just doesn't know how to make his move. -Madelyn Cline OBX
by sheluvsjohn March 20, 2023
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John tower

A tower in TDS which got replaced by garbage.
-I miss john tower
-Who doesn't?!?! Militant sucks!!!
by A fuckin tds player November 9, 2021
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