Ape Wellington

1. (n.) The ape whom once conquered hot-air-ballooning, as only man had previously done.

2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.

"God Bless that Ape Wellington for showing us all that extremely boring balloon flight is possible!"

- or -

Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"

Woman: "No."

- or -

Woman: "Have you found the problem?"

OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."

- or -

Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"

Woman: "Why?"

Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."

- or -

Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"

Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"

by scorpionmintred February 27, 2009

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Ape-Ass

A physical condition that can be caused by lots of a chafing, or over exposure to Swamp Ass. This condition causes the victim to walk in an odd manner (much like an ape) to avoid irritation. Typically occurs after sports activities, or long days of hard work.

Malcolm got walks like he has some mean Ape-Ass.

by Burgeh August 19, 2013

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Blue Apron

A food delivery service that deals almost exclusively in raisins, almonds, and vinegar. If it’s not sour and crunchy, it’s not Blue Apron.

Look at your hand? Nothing in it? Well, look at your other hand. You may be surprised to find $10 dollars in this hand. What to do? What to do? If you’re feeling hungry, you may be in luck because that $10 dollars can go a long way toward your next meal of choice. Heck, you can head on down to the local Qdoba and nom nom through a delicious double steak bowl with a side of chips and queso with 10 whole dollars. No one would knock you for making that choice, but you have another choice. You could choose to take that 10 dollars and have a combination of raisins, almonds, and vinegar delivered right to your door as many times a week as your little heart desires! This way you can take it upon yourself to cook up a nice, sour, grool after having spent that last 12 hours in the miserable hell hole you call a job. Blue Apron is the perfect excuse to don an apron, sharpen up those knives you got 10 years ago at your wedding, and dirty up every pot and pan in the house.

Here’s some excellent Blue Apron recipes:
1. Raisin and almond patties with a nice vinegar dipping sauce.
2. Raisin and almonds frozen in vinegar ice cubes to chill a nice glass of straight vinegar.
3. Raisin and almond kabobs(toothpicks not provided) grilled with a vinegar glaze.
4. Raisin/almond shooters with a vinegar base.

by Darren Besert October 26, 2017

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Apples Against Humanity

Mixing the cards in the games "Cards Against Humanity" and "Apples to Apples." It allows for adults to have fun but show some respect to children.

Everyone wanted to play Cards Against Humanity, but since it was a kids party we played Apples Against Humanity.

by Extra Mayo May 20, 2015

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Ape Ass

2. Another word for dickhead.

Simple challenge...I call bullshit on that! MOTHER APE ASS!!

by GhostRaichu(I have a big dick) February 4, 2017

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fuck apple

No definition, just wanted to say that Apple fucking sucks shit.

I just spent my entire night torrenting DMGs of OS X because the recovery process for the used Mac Mini I bought requires an Apple ID, and it's near impossible to make a recovery USB outside of OS X itself.

Fuck Apple.

by crungo July 26, 2017

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